Illuminate
by auswriteforyou
Summary: Flash Imagines based on the album Illuminate by Shawn Mendes.
1. Ruin (Hunter ZolomanFemale Reader)

_**Do ya… do you think about me? And do ya… do you feel the same way? Yeah and do ya… do you remember how we felt? 'Cause I do. So listen to me, baby.**_

His breath was a whisper on her bitten lips, warm and languid hands tantalizing as they brushed the bend of her arms. He was an inch way, a single, solitary moments move from kissing her and she had never wanted anything more, never wanted anything less. This couldn't happen. Not like this, not with him, not, not, not. But the chill coursing through her veins didn't seem to agree, like her very blood was calling to this magnificently horrifying beast of a man. She was on edge, like her body had been electrified and perhaps it had. He was trying to remind her of who they were, what they were but how could she have forgotten?

Perhaps the red hot moments of fiery passion and liquid love that had run through her veins could have been forgotten if he wasn't always _there_. Physically, mentally. He was always there, on her mind and in her heart although she wanted nothing more than to forget and not feel so in love, so out of control. Yes, she remembered when there love was a Paso doble and not this sensual rumba. They were dancing around each other and if her partner didn't back away then he was going to pull a piece of her so dark, so deeply guarded out with one of his blackened claws. But with him she felt electrified and if that wasn't his specialty, she didn't know what was. She was willing to let him rip her apart as long as she got to chase that blue lightning and it scared her, made her feel crazy. But was she crazy or in love?

 _ **And I'm not tryna ruin your happiness, but darling, don't you know that I'm the only one for ya? And I'm not tryna ruin your happiness, baby, but darling, don't you know that I'm the only one? Yeah.**_

When she was younger, she had read the obligatory trashy romance novels and popular books that taught young girls that being the object of a man's obsession was _beautiful_ and what you wanted. And she hated them. But with his hands smoothing her hair, lips pressing into her ear only to tell her she was _his, only his_. Asking _how can you not see that I only want you to be happy? But you are only happy with me, it's me and you_. She could see the allure to the completely encompassing feeling it offered. Somehow it made her feel loved, feel wanted when all it was, was pure obsession and possessiveness.

She wondered where exactly she fell off her rocker into the loony bin but here she was, looking into startling blue eyes and wondering if she could find a feeling to replace the one he gave her. She highly doubted bungee jumping or even running as fast as lightning could give her the same adrenaline rush she got from a single one of his touches. Was she crazy or in love?

 _ **And I'm not tryna ruin your happiness, but darling, don't you know that I'm the only one for ya? And I don't wanna, I don't wanna ruin your happiness, baby, but darling, don't you know that I'm the only one? Yeah.**_

When his lips pressed to hers, any inhibition, lies she could have spun, flew out the window. This was familiar. These lips, these hands, pulling and tugging at his collar to pull him closer. It didn't matter that she was chained to the railing of the bed she had sat on a few days ago screaming at him for being a liar, a monstrous demon that hid behind a dark voice and even darker mask. It didn't matter that Barry and Co. were looking for their little lab assistant who was potentially smarter than all of them combined. It didn't matter that he was Zoom, Hunter Zoloman instead of the Jay Garrick she fell in love with.

All that mattered was how he felt, how she felt, how _they_ felt.

He was crazy; there was no doubt in her mind that the man in front of her was institutionalized for a reason. She was crazy; there was no doubt in her mind as he grabbed a fistful of her hair and carefully pulled her head back as to kiss her more easily and she all but melted into him. But was this insanity, was she crazy? Or was she in love?

 _ **Not tryna ruin your happiness at all.**_

 _Stay with me, let me show you how to love a man like me._

And as she smiled at him, it wasn't her usual kind-hearted smile of contentedness. No, it was dark, simmering with the hidden piece of her she tried to lock away. Perhaps that's what the dark matter did to her, unleashed the beat within.

Oh, she was in love.

Happily, stupidly, crazily in love.


	2. Mercy (Caitlin SnowUnspecified Gender)

_You've got a hold of me don't even know your power. I stand a hundred feet but I fall when I'm around you. Show me an open door then you go and slam it on me. I can't take anymore. I'm saying baby_

Tears fell in rivers down her porcelain cheeks, hands shaking and mouth trembling as she reached for the breach. Zoom's clawed hand reaching through, grasping you and dragging you to who knows where all she could remember though you had been giving her a dazzling smile moments before.

"Cait." Barry tried, grabbing her as she tipped back and fell unconscious to the sound of your scream ringing in her ears.

She could remember the moments that you both turned away from each other and it all seemed so silly, ridiculously and horrifyingly understandable but silly. She had lost so many lovers and you had closed yourself off to the idea of love so long ago that it seemed like a mute point to try but there she was, there you were, and you both tried so hard not to fall for each other. But how dumb had you both been to think you had a choice in the matter.

You were her weakness, she yours, and though you had both slammed the door in each others faces, you both knew it was ludicrous. But you were both too hurt, too fragile for anything more. Then that one night in Star Labs, both of you wearing your hearts on your sleeve with another meta locked in the pipeline and Zoom closed off for the time being and she pulled you to her by the collar of your shirt and that was that. You were both too in love to pretend otherwise.

Blinking her eyes at the ceiling of Star Labs as she regained consciousness in the med bay, she wondered if it was her. If she was the darkness that kept getting her lovers killed. She didn't know but she vowed to get you back, if only to let you go.

 _Please have mercy on me. Take it easy on my heart; even though you don't mean to hurt me, you keep tearing me apart. Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart. Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart._

It was like a breath of fresh air when Zoom flitted into the room, you - bruised and beat up but alive, so beautifully, wonderfully alive - in his grasp. Caitlin took an involuntary step but Barry was in front of her in a blink, protecting her from Zoom- she knew that- but keeping her away from you.

"Flash." The voice was little more than a growl in the labs, echoing through their very cores.

"Let her go." That was the wrong thing to say. Zoom smirked, if that was possible. And they couldn't peel their eyes from where his hand shot through your chest, tearing into you and the horrified scream that fell from yours and Cait's lips as you dropped to the ground in a heap, silent and still.

"Monster!" Caitlin screamed, though the word fell limp in the air when she realized Zoom had already sped away with Barry on his heels. Dropping to your side, she couldn't even cry. This was her fault, all her fault. Gathering you into her arms, she didn't know what shocked her more. The little groan you let out or the feeling of your heart beating against her palms.

 _Please have mercy on me. Take it easy on my heart. Even though you don't mean to hurt me, you keep tearing me apart._

Cait's eyes were bloodshot when you opened your own bleary ones, one of her hands encasing yours and the other pressed to her forehead as she cried, eyes on her lap.

"Have you slept?" Not exactly what she expected you to say but when she hadn't expected you to ever speak to her again, she would listen to you read her the dictionary if it meant you were alright. Eyes snapping to yours, brilliant and dazzling under the fluorescents, she lunged for you and held you so tightly to her you stopped breathing for a moment.

"How am I-" You didn't wanna ask, but you had to. You had felt Zoom's hand go through you. You shouldn't have survived. Caitlin didn't answer, simply held you for a long moment then pulled away to kiss you.

"You're a metahuman." She breathed when she pulled away, distracting you long enough that the words didn't feel as important, life-changing.

"Wait, what?"

Apparently, you had the ability to heal people - Caitlin had to wonder if that is why someone as broken as her was drawn to someone like you - and the moment you got hurt, your body had already started to heal.

But you couldn't concentrate here, not with memories of being killed _there_ and stolen _here_ and bleeding out _there_. You were restless, nightmares at every corner and you couldn't tell anyone what Zoom did to you, how he played his twisted little games with you. They had to stop him, stop his plans and you couldn't get in the way of that with something like this. So you buried yourself in your work - creating a serum from your blood mixed with Barry's to reverse what you could do and destroy Zoom - and she could feel you pulling away.

"Talk to me." She begged, cornering you in the lab but you refused to meet her eyes.

"You don't want me to."

"What? Of course I do. Why would you think I-"

"Not like that Caitlin. You don't want to know." You left it at that, sliding into your office and shutting the door. You could barely hear her whisper through the door.

"Please baby. Talk to me, you're tearing me apart because I know you're not okay, that you were torn apart. Please, let me in." You locked the door.

 _I'm a puppet on your strings and even though you got good intentions, I need you to set me free. Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart? Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart?_

"I'm going to stay in Starling, or Star City whatever, for a while." You had defeated Zoom, having another Barry and the serum you created - plus psycho time wraiths - were apparently the solution to the speedster problem.

"Excuse me? You didn't talk to me about that." Caitlin argued, all of team Flash turning to look at you in the doorway with your bags.

"Yeah, I know. You would've tried to talk me out of it and I would've stayed because of you. But I need this. I have to be selfish for a while and do this for me."

"What about your abilities? You don't know how they work." She was looking for a reason for you to stay, you knew that but you couldn't give in. It wouldn't help either of you.

"Oli offered to help. He has some stuff from the island that could be useful for me to study, Malcolm even offered to give me some of the records he has." Malcolm had a soft spot for you, perhaps because you punched him in the face when you met but he respected you.

"But," She paused, not wanting to say it but it was Caitlin. You both knew she would. "What about you and me?"

"I'm sorry, I am. But I have to get out of Central, I don't expect you to wait for me as much as I would like to beg you to but I need you to let me do this, to let me go." You weren't sure what to expect when her long legs carried her quickly to you. A slap, a punch, a hit of some sort but this was Caitlin. You didn't expect her to kiss you like you were the center of her universe.

"I will wait for you, if you still want me. I will be here."

 _Consuming all the air inside my lungs. Ripping all the skin from off my bones._

Oliver was a huge help, anchoring you in a way others couldn't because he'd been there. Nightmares and fear, worry and doubts. He was there when you woke up screaming, there when your nails dug into your own skin to fight imaginary creatures in the dark. And he taught you how to heal people - mostly because he couldn't stop getting hurt and someone, _you_ , had to keep someone, _him_ , from dying- and how to heal yourself.

But you had cut everyone who was there in that moment, standing in the room when you were almost killed, out of your life. It wasn't intentional, Oliver said it was self-preservation, and you had no idea how they would react to you stepping through the archway and back into their lives but with a glowing smile, hugs to your new friends as you steadied yourself to go to Central City, you knew you had to do it.

Caitlin was a wreck without you, at least for a while. Oliver was keeping them updated, telling them you were okay but not _you_. You would never be the you they were used to. Oliver had been firm in that and he had died a few too many times for them to discount his opinion. You were traumatized, they had to give you space. She hadn't realized he meant not talking to you at all.

She had called you a few times, talked to you for a moment in the days after you went to Star City but then you stopped answering, or she stopped trying. She didn't know.

"Cisco, you have to stop changing the suit. I almost didn't recognize him in that darker red." They were in the middle of a meta hunt. Barry was in full Flash gear and they were talking animatedly but the moment your voice rang through the room, all of their eyes were on you.

"Wha-" Cisco almost dropped his slushie.

"Miss me?"

 _Oh, please have mercy on me, take it easy on my heart._

Was it awkward? Absolutely. Did you feel like you were out of sync, out of the loop? Yes. Did you feel bad about leaving to get the help you needed? No.

And you were just in time because this meta was your area of expertise.

"He is controlling the chemical make-up of people, sometimes their blood. If we can isolate the-"

"Can we talk?" You hadn't meant to cut her off but you'd been back for a few days and Caitlin would barely look at you, let alone be isolated with you. So when she entered your lab to tell you about how you could help get this meta, you had to act quick.

"We are talking." She was deflecting.

"Yeah but you know what I mean." It was silent and you thought that was her way of saying that she didn't wanna have this conversation but then her words were spilling out of her like an overfilled faucet.

"You left me. You were killed and I watched someone I love, _you_ , die and then you walked out on me."

"Cait," It was like you had been punched in the gut. You hadn't thought about that. Sure, you knew it would hurt her to have seen you like that but you didn't think about the fact that the people she loved left her in one way or another and that was all that she knew. "I didn't-"

"No, let me finish." When her eyes met yours, it wasn't with the contempt you expected. They were soft, guilty. They were sorry. "I was angry with you and I shouldn't have been. You had to do what was right for you. I guess I- No, I know I wanted to be the one to help you and I couldn't. I felt useless, I felt like I was the one who hurt you as much as I was the one who couldn't help you."

When you reached for her, you were startled to find her hand already halfway to yours. Letting her pull you in, letting her kiss you, letting her tell you she loved you and repeating them to her was the easy part.

Forgiving yourself for leaving her, her forgiving herself for all the guilt she had within her, understanding that you both were different, was the hard part but with a little time, a little love, and a little help from your team, you knew you'd be okay.

You were both done avoiding the fear that falling in love brought you, instead you embraced it and let it hold you close in it's whirlwind. You let it guide you. You let it keep you safe. You were facing your fears head on, hands embraced, together.

 _ **Oh, please have mercy on me, take it easy on my heart. I'm begging you.**_


	3. Treat You Better (CiscoFemale Reader)

_I won't lie to you. I know he's just not right for you. And you can tell me if I'm off but I see it on your face when you say that he's the one that you want. And you're spending all your time in this wrong situation and anytime you want it to stop._

"Can you believe that guy?" Cisco tutted, his fingers curling dangerously.

"Who?" Barry's eyes swiveled around the room, following the direction of Cisco's gaze to see her talking to the guy at the bar. They had dragged her and Caitlin from the Labs, pulling the West siblings along with for a much needed break. Despite her initial protests, she was seemingly having a great time while Cisco nursed his beer and wished it was him her attention had drawn to.

"Mr. Tall, dark and attention grabber." Cisco tutted under his breath, drunk enough to let his actual feelings for her show rather than hiding them in layers of defense mechanisms.

"Why don't you-" 

"Uh uh, if you say why don't I just tell her thn I might forget to make your suit fire resistant." Barry's hands raised in surrender, smirking as he watched his friend fawn over the one girl he thought he couldn't have.

"Dude, tell her. What's the big deal?" Cisco stared at his best friend like he'd told him the krabby patty formula.

"What's the- What's the big deal? Oh, I don't know scarlet speedster, why didn't you tell Iris you were in love with her 'til she was engaged and practically joined at the hip with another man? Then you erased practically every timeline where you actually got together." Barry didn't know what to say to that.

"So what do you think?" Cisco practically threw his back out hurling around to look at her. He knew she didn't have meta abilities - he had stolen a sample of her DNA to check - because she could move silently like a panther in the brush.

"Uh, hi, hey, hello." Wow, he hated himself. "Think of what?" 

"Him. The guy I was talking to; Roe." She looked nervous, halfway between wanting him to say the man she was talking to didn't look like a grade A jerk and the other half saying please tell me he is.

"Oh, uh, he seems nice." He watched her shoulders fall. "But not good enough for you. Like that other guy you went out with; Bruce?" 

"Yeah, you might be right." She had been through her share of bad boyfriends, everyone knew that the girl with the bright smile and sharp mind was a magnet for the worst of the worst. He was privy to most of her horrific breakups seeing as they not only worked together but were best friends.

A little piece of him said that he was doing this because she was his friend, he wanted her to be happy. But the bigger piece screamed that it was only because he loved her.

 _I know I can treat you better than he can and any girl like you deserves a gentleman. Tell me why are we wasting time on all your wasted crying when you should be with me instead. I know I can treat you better, better than he can._

"He didn't deserve you." 

"But I thought it would work this time, you know? He was nice, had a great smile, funny, a great job. Oh man, he was too perfect. I should've known he was a cheater." Shoving a spoonful of ice cream into her waiting mouth, she met his eyes with her bloodshot sad ones.

"No, you deserve a gentleman. Someone who is all those things -minus a cheater, obviously - but someone who is a good person and successful. And that guy? Pfft, he was nothing but a low on the totem pole guy trying to find his success through you. Don't you cry your eyes out over someone like him." He was thankful she didn't have the meta ability to read minds as his filled in the unspoken speech he wanted to give.

Be with me instead, let me treat you how you deserve, better than they did.

 _I'll stop time for you; the second you say you'd like me to. I just wanna give you the loving that you're missing. Baby, just to wake up with you would be everything I need and this could be so different; tell me what you want to do._

"Cisco!" It was like an alarm going of in his head, all of his blood rushing through his veins and a pit forming in the bottom of his stomach as her scream reached his ears. He had not brought himself to give this meta a name, he didn't think he would. Not when he had went for the most precious cargo on the team. No, this meta could be Nameless- no, crap. Crap, crap, crap. Do not think of him like that, he's Nobody. Dang it Cisco, quit it. - because he had stolen her away from him.

They had been walking home from their weekly BFF date as she called it, talking about themselves and not their jobs for half a minute when this thing materialized in front of them, grabbed her, and disappeared.

While this meta wasn't smart enough to turn off her phone -thus turning off her tracker - he was smart enough to keep her handy, in a pillow factory oddly enough. Now she was dangling by her own handhold on a walkway while Barry fought the meta Cisco was refusing to name.

"Hold on. I'll get you." He was totally lying. He had no idea how to get to her, especially not using his abilities when he didn't know how to control them more than a blast at someone. "Think. Think. Thi- Aha!" There was a bin stockpiled full of pillows. Adjusting his gloves, he put every iota of energy he had into shoving it 'til it was under her. Right as her fingers slipped. He would have nightmares about that scream.

Rushing to the side of the bin, he climbed the rungs 'til he could see inside. Where did she- There! Her head popped out, faux feathers sputtering from her lips as she peered up at him. He couldn't help but smile as she looked up at him, feathers in her hair and it looked like she was a chicken. Despite her adrenaline pumping, and the fear still rushing through her, she had to smile back.

"Cisco?" He tilted his head as she called up. "I love you." How he wished she meant that differently.

"Love you more." Shaking her head, some of the feathers fell out and she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"No, not like that, not like friends Cis. I love you. Like I love you, love you." And it would've been a better moment if she hadn't immediately passed out.

 _Promise I won't let you down. Just know that you don't have to do this alone. Promise I'll never let you down._

He had never seen something quite so beautiful as her opening her eyes first thing in the morning, her fists rubbing at them as a yawn fell from her lips and she curled into him more as an attempt to keep warm and not leave bed. It was always her eyes. It was the brightness with which she looked at him when she swam back into consciousness, feathers in her hair and told him that when the meta had her - okay, she called him Nameless too so he guessed naming him wasn't too bad - that he was all she could think about.

Him and how she wished she had told him that she loved him.

Perhaps being stuck in a thing of pillows and half delirious from lack of sleep, adrenaline and fear wasn't the best time to do it but it didn't make the sentiment any less true.

"Morning lovely." She hummed under her breath, a smile cruving her lips at his voice. She was convinced his morning voice was the sexiest thing ever - aside from that soft smile he gave her when he thought she was being cute. Her hand reached up, fingers grazing his jaw and then finding their way to thread through his hair and grip onto the edges.

"Mornin' handsome." Kissing his pec, she srunched her nose in a silent refusal to fully get up and lined her body up further with his as he tugged her closer. Stuffing her hand under her pillow, she huffed as she pulled a handful of feathers back.

"Was I having nightmares?" She didn't often remember if she did and he thanked his lucky stars that she didn't. He did and it was traumatizing but he could handle it, long as she didn't have the same ghosts.

"Yeah, a little one." Reaching to her side, he pulled the ripped pillow away and tossed it to a corner of the room. Then he slid his hand under the bed and pulled out a brand new one, still in the plastic. "I cannot believe the pillow company gave you the pillows you fell in because you got blood on one of them." It was a morbid joke between them but hilariously true.

"Hey," she scolded, accepting the new pillow and peeling open her eyes to look at him as she nestled into it. "You love our supply of squishy pillows. We have a pillow room." 

"Mmm. No. I love that we have a pillow room because it's a we." She didn't say anything, but she smiled like he was her whole world and that was better than anything she could have said.

"I love you." Except that.

 _I know I can treat you better._


	4. Three Empty Words(Julian DornReader)

_I'll pick you up at the same time at the same place, the same old drive. We'll just talk about our day to try to fill the awkward space tonight._

Watching the hands on the clock count out another hour, you sighed to yourself. He was late. Not that it was a surprise, it was practically routine now, but for a moment you thought that he might show like he would when you'd first started dating. Wheels spinning, mangled flowers and screwed tie but a smile on his handsome face, his lilted words an apology you could accept. There wouldn't be fanfare, too much effort put into a date when you were both more comfortable lying in bed discussing your days.

But that was so long ago you barely remembered it.

You hadn't been on a date in so long you almost forgot how to plan one, how to act, how to dress. Honestly, your marriage changed everything. All the little things weren't as important. Asking Caitlin had been embarrassing enough but then to cook a fancy meal, done your fanciest outfit, fix your hair, all the nuances that go into the perfect date only for him to not to show? Yeah, that was devastating. Almost as devastating as the relief you felt at not having to make awkward small talk in the house you had once called your home but now felt like a cage.

 _We'll play the songs we used to love while we try to fall in love again. We don't know who's wrong or right; we don't even care enough to fight. We're going through the motions 'cause we can't fix what's broken. And I know it's gonna hurt but darling I'll go first; cause I won't keep on saying those three empty words_

A soft melody hummed from the speakers as you thumbed through a magazine, pajamas on, teeth brushed and all but ready to fall asleep where you sat. You were in the comforting lull between I'm going to get some great sleep tonight and but let me finish this one article when the front door creaked open. You had asked Julian to fix that so many times it was ridiculous, you couldn't stand that horrid screech. You could hear him putter around in the kitchen, kick his shoes back through the doorway when he realized he hadn't taken them off – something that used to be cute but now you were irritated by the scuff marks they left – and _there_. You hadn't cleaned the place settings, putting a note on what was his plate that you'd put the leftovers in the microwave for him to heat.

You could almost hear the gears turning in his head, then his feet on the stairs, then your bedroom door swinging open.

You were too slow to hid under the covers, pretending that you hadn't jolted wide-eyed at the noise of the door and besides, he had to have seen the bedroom light shining when he pulled in.

"Baby," He started but you just held up a hand, something akin to a grimace rather than a smile on your lips as you waved away the apology.

"No, don't apologize. I get it. More metas than usual." Even to your own ears the words bitter but you were too exhausted, mentally and physically, to have this fight.

"I'm sorry. I should've-," When his voice cut off, you knew the truth. It wasn't that he was busy, no. He hadn't _wanted_ to get home at a reasonable hour because he felt it too. Something was different between you and it was driving you both to unhappiness. "I'm sorry." 

"I forgive you." And you did, because how could you be angry at him when you hadn't wanted him to show in the first place; when you were relieved he didn't? And that was that. He went about the motions of getting ready for bed, changing out of his button down and going as far as washing the day's grim off his face before climbing into bed. And the few inches of space felt like oceans as you laid the magazine on the nightstand and curled into a ball underneath the covers.

It was startling when his hand landed on the curve of your hip. You were laying on your side, facing the opposite direction of him, and how long had you been going to bed distant and not curled up together? And his thumb rubbed a soothing circle for a moment before his arm hooked around your waist and pulled you into his chest.

"I love you." He whispered into your ear but your heart didn't skip a beat, your cheeks didn't flush. Instead, you went limp in his arms and tried not to cry as you realized one simple, truth. You had fallen out of love, you with him and he with you -even if he didn't realize it yet.

"Yeah, you too." And your heart thudded painfully in your chest because you knew those were empty words.

 _We're still talking everyday. I'm running out of things to say to you. What's really gonna break my heart is to have to tell your little brother. It might be easier to stay but it'll never be the same, no oh no. And if something doesn't change then we'll keep on sinking further._

"I want a divorce." Perhaps when he was having his morning tea was not a good time to tell him but you had tried to say it so many times, tried to find the right moment or, more or less, tried to find a time in his schedule that you talk to him about anything besides metahumans because he never talked about anything else. He was choking.

"What?" 

His eyes were eyes were comically wide, broken heart on his sleeve as he started to reach for you before thinking better of it and letting his hand lay limply between you. He didn't know what to say, you knew that. You also knew that a piece of him, the stubborn piece that thought working in the same lab as your twin brother – who you were older than by a few minutes and you never let him forget it – was a good idea despite them hating each other, wanted to argue. He wanted to give you a list of reasons why you belonged with him but not even he could formulate a compelling argument.

"But I love you." That was all he had to offer and as your heart cracked even more, you wished that was enough. That it was true. But something had to change between you and him, even though staying with him would be easier it was also the recipe for unhappiness. You were sinking and once it had been his hand that reached out to keep you afloat but you were on your own. And you were going to learn how to swim.

 _Oh, we're going through the motions cause we can't fix what's broken. And I know it's gonna hurt but darling I'll go first cause I won't keep on saying those three empty words. Those three empty words will only make it worse. I'm tired, I can't take it anymore. Those three empty words will only make it worse. We're tired, we can't take it anymore._

"Wait, a divorce?" Barry practically choked on his coffee and you had to stop telling people things when they were drinking. Nodding, you threw him a half-grimace, half-idunnowhatimdoingwithmylife look and shrugged. "I don't like the guy-" 

"You hate him, Bar." 

"Okay, I hate him but I though you guys were happy?" Sighing, you tried to figure out how to explain this to your brother.

"We were, are, I don't know. It's like someone pressed paused on our life, then hit repeat. We go through the motions of being a married couple but I'm tired of playing pretend, we both are whether he realizes it or not, oh my gosh." You cut off, feeling the words die on your tongue before you allowed yourself to say them and had a panic attack right here in the middle of Jitters.

"Sis, you alright?" Despite the fact you knew your brother was hiding something from you (if only you knew how big it was), you had never been able to lie to him. But you dredged up some of the discomfort from him lying to you and peeled your eyes from the spot over his shoulder before he could notice.

"Never mind. So can I stay with you and Joe, or not?" 

There was no way you would tell your protective 'younger' brother that behind him, Julian Dorn sat with a leggy blonde drinking tea and laughing with her hand on his arm. He would get all uppity about it, make a scene. But the thing that panicked you, despite you having taken the initiative to sign the divorce papers, was that you didn't care. He wasn't yours anymore, hadn't been in a long time.

 _No I can't keep on saying those three empty words._

Barry stared at himself in the mirror, the effects of time travel a bit more intense than jetlag. Bags were under his eyes and his cheeks looked hollowed in as he splashed water on his face but he couldn't complain. This was his fault. Sure, he hated your husband and had since you started dating him but he hadn't wanted this, wanted you to divorce him, wanted you both to go from sickeningly in love to feeling like _this_. Staring at his dull eyes, he could only ask himself one question. _What did he do?_


	5. Don't Be A Fool (HarryFemale Reader)

_Pairing: Harrison Wells/ Female Reader._

 _Words: 2.5k+_

 _You've got my heart but I can't let you keep it, babe. Cause I won't be sure that I can stay. And don't waste your time trying to pull me in. Cause I'm just a mess you don't wanna fix._

Tears were welling in your eyes, hands clasped in front of your mouth as the breach reopened and a gust of wind pushed back your hair in a messy wave. Your eyes shut tightly as the wind picked up, letting it subside before reopening them to see the one person you never wanted to.

Harrison Wells was just as attractive as when he stepped through that breach, taking your heart and ripping it out as he did. His eyes were cobalt blue, his smile still a wonder on his weathered cheeks. His hair was tousled like he had been running his fingers through it all day and his lips looked bitten, like when he was so close to figuring something out but couldn't put the pieces together. And you wanted to punch him in his pretty face.

"Harry?" Cisco was the first to speak, Barry taking a step in front of you as a precautionary. They weren't positive it was Harry.

"I need your help." You practically melted into the floor at the sound of his voice, a low, growling tenor.

"With what?" Barry didn't need to ask as a zip of lightning exited the breach and spun around the room quickly before stopping in front of them with a grin. "Oh, that."

"Hey guys." Jesse's smile drooped at the sight of you, staring at the woman who her father had all but torn apart and wanting nothing more than to hug the woman who looked exactly like her mother had.

You couldn't stay in the room, not when you could hear Harrison telling you he hadn't meant it all the times he'd said I love you. That he lied. That he felt nothing more than a physical attraction to the woman who looked like his wife. You couldn't stand here and look at him smiling as Cisco hugged him, or as Barry clapped him, or Caitlin folded Jesse into her arms.

You couldn't because if you did, he would pull you back in and you had wasted too much time, too many tears, and a crapload of emotional instability on this man who was little more than mess you didn't have the tools to fix.

Turning on your heel, you blinked away the tears and exited the room – unnoticing of the blue eyes that followed you.

 _Just promise me one thing that you won't forget but for now kiss me softly before I say._

"I need you to talk to Jesse." That was the first thing he'd said to you since he'd gotten to Star Labs a few days ago. You hadn't even realized he was talking to you until the silence was too long and you remembered you was the only one in there. Turning to him in shock, your finger pointed to your chest as if to mime 'me?'. "You're the only one she'll listen to."

"No." You had heard the arguments between him, Cisco, and Caitlin about who should talk Jesse out of running around the city but you had stayed out of it. He was not going to drag you into this.

"Please. I know you and I aren't together anymore but," Your scoff cut him off because not together was an understatement.

"I'm not her mother Harrison." And if that didn't pour salt into an open wound. You made to leave the room, gathering your materials and getting almost out the door when he slid in front of you. And his grasp on your arms held in you place as he leveled you with a look, but you wanted to squirm away. "Let go of me."

He loosened his grip but he didn't let go completely. "I know you're not, trust me, but she listens to you and if she goes out there and gets herself killed- "

"Are you seriously blaming me for your lack of parenting skills?" That was lie. He was a great father.

"No, would you listen?" No one could get under his skin like you could. "She is going to get herself killed so can you talk to her to make sure that doesn't happen?" His lips were a breath from yours, close enough that you honestly thought that he was about to kiss you, or bite you, who knows.

"Fine. Follow me." He had learned a long time ago not to question you. So, he released you, following you to the cortex where everyone had gathered together.

"Jesse?" Her head snapped up at the sound of your voice, having not talked to the woman since she went through the breach. "If you're going to run at high speed, you have to be careful. Ignore your father not wanting you to do, because you are going to do it anyway – that's who you are – and learn how to do it with as little of damage as possible." Harry's irritated, and surprised, snort made you smirk as you tossed Jesse the material.

"What is- Is this my own suit?" Nodding your head once in confirmation, you turned on your heel and threw Harry a dazzling smile. Harry was wrong in the instance and while he was trying to keep Jesse safe, he was also pushing her away and you wanted nothing to do with it.

 _And don't be a fool and wait on me darling. I know that you don't wanna hear this but I'm always on the move. And don't be a fool and say that you love me, cause you'll find a man who will stand by your side and will be there for you._

"Who is that?" Harry's voice was loud in the silent room despite it being filled with the whole team. Team Flash had successfully apprehended another meta but this one was a kid, leaving a sour taste in their mouths. Glancing up, you saw him watching the security cameras with confusion as a man parked in front of the Labs.

Squeaking, you started rounding up your stuff as the man pressed the intercom and a nervous 'hello' reverberated in the cortex. Sliding your heels back on, you were quick to press down your hair and turn to face the group who looked as confused as you were panicked. Jolting to a stop, you pointed to the screen absentmindedly.

"Uh, so you know that date a little while back? Yeah, he's great. So," You waved your arms around a little like that explained everything.

"He knows you work with the Flash?" Wally interrupted your attempts to mime your answer and you shook your head adamantly.

"No, oh goodness, no. He knows I work here, that's all. And I asked him to pick me up, totally spaced. Where is my- "Your voice died in your throat as your purse was thrust into your face and you grabbed it while following the arm to the person's face. Harry's face.

"Boyfriend?" You didn't like his tone.

"Technically no, but yeah." You shrugged, trying to play indifference when all you felt was immense sadness. What had he expected? You to wait on him while he was running around, to keep loving him after what he said? No, you had found a man who wanted you and wasn't going to tell you, you were the doppelganger of his late wife and then step into a breach. You were not a fool, and you were not going to stick around for him to make up his mind on whether he wanted you or not. And he'd made it clear that not was the answer, anyway.

Pulling your purse from his hands, you stomped out of the room with your head held high but your heart beating fast.

 _And just know that I do. Oh I really like you babe. And I wanna be there for you for the rest of your days but I know that you're hurt if we keep on doing this. So I'm sorry to end this now but I know that it's for the best._

Hands were on you, words floating in and out of your hearing range, pinpricks piercing your skin as you weakly fought the hold. Your whole body felt immovable, like a weight was pushing on you from all sides and you couldn't get your breath.

"Stop…. We… I have you." Your body went rigid, eyes snapping open and meeting that cobalt blue. It held you there for a moment, a single, beautiful moment and you used all your strength to reach up and touch that soft skin. Your thumb swiped his lip, leaving a trail of blood and it felt wrong to see something so disgusting on someone so beautiful.

Then your hand fell and your eyes rolled back in your head as voices called your name, people touched your skin and pinpricks marred your bruising flesh. But all you could see was the beautiful face, the concerned eyes. And feeling safe, you slept.

When your eyes opened this time, it was to a plain white ceiling and sunlight. You were cold, ridiculously and utterly cold but you couldn't get your limbs to co-operate through your haze. Cracking your lips open, nothing but a mix of a bear's growl and a mauled cat left your parted lips.

"Hey, don't move." Harry. You could always make that voice out. Blinking blearily as he stepped into your vision, you felt something wet hit your cheeks.

"Is it," Groaning, you let the words drag out of your raw throat. "Raining?"

"No, love. You are inside Star Labs. Baby, you're crying." Soothing your hair out of your face, he attempted to smile despite his red eyes and your hand connected a little harder with his cheek than you would've liked but he didn't flinch away.

"So are you?" Grimacing, he pulled away enough to grab the cup of water sitting on a nearby table and held the straw to your lips. Despite the liquid being ice cold, it was soothing to your throat as you pawed the blankets.

"I told Caitlin to put more blankets on you, that you get perpetually colder as you sleep but you insisted this was enough." Pulling a thick wad out of a nearby bag, you absentmindedly realized he must have been in your apartment. Not that you could complain, you had given him a key. Unfurling the thick quilt, he was careful laying it on top of you. Slowly, a dull ache echoed in your bones as they warmed but that could be ignored in favour of the cool liquid that Harry kept pouring into you.

"Do you, uh, remember what happened?" The slight headache forming behind your eyes told you that you'd been hit in the head, probably concussed so the answer was obviously no. Shaking your head softly, he took a deep breath as he sat down, pressing the button that would alert Caitlin you were up.

"Uh, that guy you're acquainted with," Acquainted? "He's a meta. Who has some anger issues and vendetta with the Flash." Okay, that made sense. "He took you hostage, hoping to get the Flash but you managed to press your panic button." Harry didn't seem want to continue but you weren't letting it go.

"Tell me Barry didn't." At the wrinkle of his nose, you groaned. You and Barry had talked about him running headlong into danger like that. He hadn't listened apparently. "Where is he?"

"Running about here somewhere." Sighing, you pushed away the warm blankets that had soothed your chill and started to climb out of bed.

"Woah, woah, woah. What are you doing?" He admonished, pushing you back into bed much to your irritation. "You have a broken rib, concussion, sprained ankle and multiple bruises and lacerations. You are not getting out of this bed 'til I say so." Mouthing his words mockingly, you let him practically lift you back into bed.

"But I wanna lecture Barry, it'll take my mind off all my horrifically failed relationships." Okay, that was hash.

"Don't. Please. Not right now when I almost lost you." You hadn't expected the thickness in his voice like he was barely holding it together for your sake. "I know I hurt you, I know I screwed it all up, and I know you don't owe me anything but for a moment can you pretend you don't hate me?" If you were a stronger person, you wouldn't have laughed like what he said was the funniest thing you'd heard in a while.

When he started to pull back abruptly, you grabbed him around the neck and tugged him into a painful hug. You needed comfort as much as he needed a kick in the head. He stiffened, letting your arms loop tightly around his neck before he melted completely. His head pressed into the curve of your neck, one of his hands finding your waist as the other tangled in your hair. He was gentle with you, mindful of your bruises and you hated how safe, comfortable and natural in his hold.

He had been so adamant when he told you, you were over, that the promise to always be there for you and to love you were little more than lies. But with him practically supergluing himself to you now, you wondered how much of that was him protecting himself more than falling out of love with you.

"Don't you get it Harry? I couldn't be anything but in love with you, even if I tried."

 _I don't think you'll ever understand. I don't think you'll ever understand. I know that you don't wanna hear this but darling please don't be a fool._

This is Central City. There are no breaks in Central City. So, you weren't surprised when the metahuman alarm started going off mid-hug. Releasing him abruptly, you watched as Team Flash converged in the cortex where you could just make them out.

"I should," He started but a stern look from you had him pulling open the wheelchair. "Okay, I shouldn't but." Sighing, he lifted you out of bed and rolled you down the ramp with ease.

"Harry!' Caitlin admonished, despite the pleased smile you gave you patient. "We're happy you're okay."

Waving her comment away with a smile of your own, you turned to the screen as Barry patted your shoulder before zipping out the door. It was a whirlwind, as most things were with team Flash. Barry was trying to talk someone down while running in circles to save lives. But your attention was on Jesse, her fingers curled around the desk and you knew that the young speedster would never disobey her father.

"Harry." Inclining your head to his daughter, he followed your gaze and shook his head vehemently. Pursing your lips, you made the decision for him.

"Jesse," Her head turned to you, blurring a little at the edges. "You have to help him." Flitting her eyes to her dad, he took a deep breath before placing a hand on your shoulder and giving you a nod.

"You have the speed, use it – carefully!" With a grin, you started vibrating a little and turned her attention back to you.

"Are you guys sure?" You didn't miss the way Harry's hand tightened or the way she had made sure to include you. Something told you she'd had a talk with her father about what he'd said to you.

"Run Jesse, run." The moment the words left your lips, your hair was leaving it's badly done bun and wafting around you in tangles.

As you'd expected, she and Barry handled it brilliantly and you'd gotten to give Barry his lecture, receiving one from Caitlin for getting out of bed. Now, with pain meds coursing your veins and Harry by your side, you were floating in and out of consciousness. Harry was talking to you in a soothing lilt, slow and melodic to make you rest. It was working 'til he misinterpreted your even breathing for sleep and started to leave the room.

Your hand shot out, grabbing his with fear written in your foggy eyes. Patting your hand, he stepped closer and smoothed back your hair in confusion.

"Please, don't leave me." Those were weighted words and you saw his shoulders sag with the implication that he wouldn't be there when you reopened your eyes.

"I'm going to talk with Jesse, I'm not leaving you." Those were placating words, making you sag in your bed. He would stay, at least 'til you felt better.

And you had a lot to discuss. The hurt you still felt at how he'd broken up with you, the fear he felt at commitment and that he could lose you, if he planned on sticking around or disappearing on you. But in this drug infused haze, you were happy to let him rest his lips on your forehead, trail them to your cheek and hold your hand as sleep opened its arms for you.

A smile made its way on your face as you closed your eyes and your mind reminded you that you were a fool. You were the fool that waited for someone who lied, who disappeared, who could be the nicest person you had ever met or the worst. You were a fool but you were the fool who had Harrison Wells.

 _And don't be a fool and wait on me darling. I know that you don't wanna hear this but don't be a fool._


	6. Like This(Barry AllenFemale Reader)

**Pairing: Barry Allen/Female Reader.**

 _You say it's not supposed to be; tell me not to waste my time. This was never up to me but if it was I wouldn't mind._

"Late as usual Flash. Is it me or are you getting slower?" A teasing smile lilted your words as you jumped from the third floor balcony onto the pavement in front of the swanky hotel you had expertly heisted, body in a perfect crouch. Flipping your head up, your hair arched above you before landing in a perfect wave on your back. So what if you had practiced that relentlessly 'til it looked perfect? It was cool.

"I'm not here to play games Robin Hood," Despite the irritation in his voice, you knew he admired what you did with the things you lifted. "Give me the things you stole from the guests and make this easy on both of-." His words cut off as you roundhouse kicked at him. He should have known; you were never one for talking. "Woah!"

He was fast but you were smart with a lot of training and a sharp eye, you could practically see him zipping around, tell where he was going to stop.

"It doesn't have to be like this Y/- Hood." That was enough to make you stupidly pause. Stupidly because it was long enough for him to get his hands on you, familiar and warm but with a strength you didn't know he had. He had always been so gentle with you when you were dating.

There was a moment, deafening and silent at the same time where your eyes met his. Holding his hazel gaze and trying not to fall apart at the raw emotion Barry couldn't hide if he tried. He had always worn his heart on his sleeve. Even as you broke up with him.

"I don't understand." He was gripping the forest green fabric in his hand, eyes confused but gaze betrayed. You were at a loss for words on how to explain to your superhero boyfriend that you were the hooded vigilante that stole things to help people in need. It was admirable but it was still stealing and you'd been in more than your fair share of fights with the Flash.

"You don't have to. It's not a big deal."

"Not a – Yes, yes it is a big deal!" He threw the offending garment away from him and onto the floor like it was alive, trying to coerce him into a life of crime. It was ridiculous. "You have to stop or I'm bringing you in to Star Labs." No, he would put you in the pipeline.

Holding out your wrists, you arched a challenging eyebrow as if to challenge his moral compass and love for you. Sighing, the heels of his hands met his eyes as he spun away from you in a befuddled huff. He could do little more than shake his head as he paced the length of the bedroom.

"It's not supposed to be like this. We are supposed to be normal. You are my normal." He muttered sadly. While a piece of you understood that, you didn't like to have the role of 'normal.' That was a short distance to boring.

"Obviously I'm not. But I'm still me. How does this change you and I?"

He had you backed into the dresser behind you in moments, his breath ghosting your face and his hands trapping you in as he searched your eyes for answers you didn't have. He shook his head once more, still unable to formulate words. You had never seen him like this but that look? Oh, that look told you he was about to say something you couldn't forget.

"Because! You're a villain." You could tell he immediately wanted to take it back but the words were already suspended in mid-air. You were already hurt. You were already sliding out of his arms.

"If I'm such a villain then why did you never try harder to stop me?"

"Wait no. I'm sorry. Please, don't leave." He was begging but you were numb to it, ignoring his hand attempting to grab your arm as you packed a small bag.

"Why would you wanna waste your time with a 'villain' like me?"

"Please, I don't want you to leave." Scoffing, you turned on your heel and left the half-packed bag. You were sure your best friend had some clothes you could borrow.

"Good thing it's not up to you." You were sure to slam the door behind you.

 _And I'm trying to ignore ya. Trying to go on with my day, hey. But I still pick up the phone, yeah, and get lost in what you say._

You had always wondered what people did when locked in the pipeline. Apparently, the answer was go insane. They had fed you, given you clothes and books, took you to the bathroom – which was embarrassing enough – but they wouldn't talk to you. Perhaps, it was their anger that kept them silent. Or the fact that if Barry wasn't willing to visit you, you must have done something horrendous.

"Food." Wally. That was new. The slot slid open and he tossed a bag through, some new drive through that had opened around the corner that wasn't half bad. You took the bag, nodding your thanks at him but he didn't leave. Instead he sat in front of you, arms on his knees and stared a hole through you.

"Uh, can I help you Wal?" You questioned, voice cracking from disuse.

"Barry's going to take on a meta that can syphon his abilities."

"What does that have to do with me? I can't syphon – oh." He wasn't asking you to help take on the meta. He was asking you to talk Barry out of it. "Case you haven't noticed, I am locked in the pipeline, Barry refuses to see me and none of my friends are talking to me. Even if I did, he wouldn't listen to me. He hates me." Wally was laughing. Why was he laughing?

"You could kill Barry Allen and he wouldn't hate you. Although that roundhouse kick to the face was impressive." Smirking, you shrugged. Some of that pent-up anger at what he said to you was the driving force behind that. "They don't know what to say to you. Technically, you lied to them. Although, I think Cisco and Caitlin are leaning to your side seeing as Barry sits and watches you forlornly on the cameras." Okay, that was creepy.

"How are you going to get him here to talk to me?" Disregarding the surge of relaxation his words brought, you stuck to the topic.

"Um, I'm not going to bring _him_ to _you_." Gnawing on his lower lip, he gave you a mischievous smile. You knew you liked Wally West. As he tapped on the small screen, he regarded you curiously.

"Does this make us even for the time I accidentally shot you with the tranquilizer dart?" Rolling your eyes, you figured you could let it slide considering he was about to get lightning bolted.

 _I can try to stop it, all I like. Hands down, I've lost this fight. Thought I was strong enough for you but I just can't hide the truth. So I guess I'm going down, I guess I'm going down, like this._

"Wally!" Barry yelled, staring at you in shock as you folded your arms over your chest and tapped your foot impatiently. "Why- You- What- Wally!"

"Told you." You muttered, blatantly reminding Wally that you did tell him. Barry was at a loss for words and you had told Wally he should tell him before springing you on him to avoid an overdramatic meltdown. Either way, now he owed you twenty bucks.

"Someone has to talk sense into you and you won't listen to anyone."

"Yeah, because I know what I'm doing so I'm not going to listen to anyone attempt to talk me out of it."

"She's not anyone Barry." No, you most certainly were not anyone. All his teammates were simply standing there, all the worry written on their faces and you knew they'd taken on the stubborn mule of a man in front of you to no avail. But they had used words. You punched him in the face.

"Ow- Why?!" He exclaimed, cupping his cheek as you shook out your hand and grabbed the back of his hair with the other. Okay, you were still a little mad. Plus, your people skills had never been very good and putting you in the pipeline didn't help.

"You are an idiot. Literally. You are the dumbest person I have ever met because you, the actual Flash, are willing to run into dangerous situations to help someone with no regard to yourself. And you are also ridiculously stubborn so I'm not going to try to talk you out of it but only if you take me with you."

 _And I love it how she's honest, you don't find that nowadays. She's not even drop dead gorgeous but she kills me anyway._

While he had been adamant that he was not taking you with him, it didn't take much convincing to let you help him when the Sypher brought the fight to you. He couldn't have your abilities because they weren't like Barry's. You weren't meta, you were simply good.

"Once I take the Flash's speed, I will be able to-"

"Okay, yeah, yeah buddy can you hurry up the evil villain speech? We get it. You're crazy. Let's get this show on the road." Waving your hand around, he growled before running directly for you and you met him head on with a grin. Said grin widened to a smile when he grabbed your arm expecting an influx of metahuman ability but was met with a knee to the gut instead.

"About that, I'm not like him." Subduing him was ridiculously easy, allowing Barry to run him to the pipeline while Caitlin patched up the blow he'd landed to your face and cut to your arm was easy. Now you had to convince Barry that despite his insistence you were a villain, you were not.

"He's in the pipeline."

"I don't have a speech."

"What?" He looked at you blankly and you were going to wait 'til you were alone but screw it.

"A super evil villain speech. I don't hurt people. I don't attempt to steal your powers. I punched you, oh and roundhouse kicked you, in the face and I don't have excuses for those but I'm not sorry about it. I don't have a creepy lair full of pictures of you with red circles and voodoo dolls. Okay, I have a lot of pictures of you but you're very photogenic and we were dating but what I'm trying to say is I understand why you put me in the pipeline, why you called me a villain – as hurtful as it was. I understand and I'm _sorry_ I didn't tell you but can't we talk about this? Please, I'm going actually crazy in the –" You had made your way to stand practically chest to, uh, face with Barry because he was ridiculously tall, figuring that he would appreciate your confidence. Instead he grabbed your face, pressed his lips to yours and appreciated your kissing ability.

"Woah," You pulled back, eyeing him with confusion as he held you impossibly close to him. "What was that?"

"Thought you didn't have a speech." He shrugged. "And that was me saying I'm sorry I'm such a jerk because I'm lucky to have someone as crazy beautiful as you in my life."

"I think you meant crazy and beautiful."

"Well that too."

 _I can try to stop it, all I like. Hands down, I've lost this fight._

"Okay, what is this?" Picking up the newspaper he tossed into your lap, you read the article quickly. **Central City's Robin Hood, Back at It?** "I thought you agreed to work with me in a legal way and stop running around stealing things!"

"Babe, that's not me. Or my suit." You pointed out, the green was too dark and it seemed to have a red streak. "And I don't go by Robin Hood anymore, remember?"

"So you're telling me someone took up your mantel?" Shrugging, you picked up the magazine you were reading and kicked your feet up onto your office Team Flash desk. "And you didn't have anything to do with this?" Glancing up at him, you laid an affronted hand over your chest but the mirth in your eyes said everything he needed to know. Throwing his hands in the air, he muttered to himself as he stormed out of the room. But you smirked knowing that he was giving up. He had stopped you but he couldn't stop all the Robin Hood's.

And you drove him crazy, but dang if he didn't love you anyway.

 _So I guess I'm going down like this._


	7. No Promises (Wally WestFemale Reader)

**Wally was your summer fling and sometimes summer flings turn into beautiful things.**

 _ **Pairing: Wally West/ Female Reader.**_

 _ **Words: 3k+.**_

 _Staring out my hotel window, too much on my mind. Maybe we should keep it simple. We don't have to decide. Oh no we don't need to overcomplicate it cause I've been here once before don't even say it._

Central City was less than an hour away from Starling if you didn't get stuck in traffic and the roads weren't blocked off from yet another meta attack but when you're in love? Oh, half an hour feels like living on a different planet. When you are exiting a relationship with the person who felt like they were everything to you only for them to cheat on you with some whore in your bed and then sit outside your apartment drunk and rambling? Oh, half an hour feels like snapping your fingers.

On the list of things you wanted to do today, check yourself into a hotel to get away from him was not even on it. Then to your luck, it started raining because yay! Another weather meta and you couldn't get to work so now you were holed up in this hotel room with nothing to do but hate your ex and do the one thing no one should.

Think about the love that got away.

It wasn't a meet cute story in a coffee shop; nor did you go to high school together or prom. No, it was a summer fling with the cute bartender the summer after high school graduation. You were enamored with his washboard abs, dark eyes and skin glinting in the sun like polished bronze. He was gorgeous with his too big smile, wide-set nose and kind-heartedness.

You were dumb and in love but when the summer wound down, so did the both of you. And it broke your heart to leave Wally West standing in the airport, hand half-outstretched as if wanting to draw you into his arms and never let go. But you had dreams, so did he and at that very moment, they hadn't coincided.

Then you met Josh who was everything Wally wasn't with his bleach blonde hair, dazzling blue eyes and sun-kissed skin. He was polos and khakis. Wally was flip flops and board shorts. Josh was stability while Wally was adrenaline. Somehow you convinced yourself that someone like Josh was what you wanted, _needed_ and boy did you play yourself.

Josh was supposed to be simple compared to passionate whirlwinds but there was nothing simple about love – if that's what you could call the atrocity you and he had.

You were the one to break it off with Wally, you had been the one to say no to his offer of love, it was your fault. He had tried. No, he had all but begged you to stay but priorities. Man or education? And as much as you heart screamed man, your head had a thick pillow to muffle, if not suffocate, away the thought that anyone could be more important than your education.

He had understood but that didn't make it easier, if anything it made it more difficult.

 _Baby please no promises cause we won't keep our promises. And I know the consequences. So baby please, baby please no promises._

You had promised yourself that you would never go back to Central City since you'd hidden in that hotel. You had promised yourself to stop thinking about the biggest heartbreak of your life. Oh, and the guy who cheated on you. You should really stop promising yourself things because if you standing in front of the West residence was anything to go by, you weren't very good at it.

 _I've never been a fan of heartbreak so tell me what you want. Take my hands across your body; we don't have to hold on. Oh no we don't need to overcomplicate it cause I've been here once before don't even say it._

When the door swung open, it was not the smooth dark skin or the soft, brown eyes you were expecting. No, this man was porcelain skinned with hazel eyes and a large, but confused, smile.

"Can I help you?" He asked when you didn't speak, eyes following the contours of your body but not in a _I'm checking you out_ kind of way. It almost felt like he was checking you for weapons.

"Oh, I, um, I might have the wrong address? Does a Wally West live here?" This was stupid, colossally stupid. Why did you think trying to find Wally in a city potentially full of people with the name West was a good idea? Why did you think finding your summer fling that you broke up with was a good idea?

"Oh no. Er, yes! You're not at the wrong house. He's here." It was weird for a minute, whoever had opened the door simply staring at you 'til you raised an expectant eyebrow and he made a startled face. "Right! Let me… get him." He turned on his heel, leaving the door open but you weren't going to go in when you didn't know how Wally was going to react to you being here.

Wally wasn't looking at you as he walked down the stairs, a small metal piece in his hand and a screwdriver in the other. _I'm into engineering_ , echoed in your head and you smiled despite your discomfort.

"Barry said you were looking for- " His voice died in his throat, eyes widening to a comical size when he saw you. "What are you doing here?" Wincing, you tried to formulate an excuse better than _stalked you in the phone book 'til I found you_ and attempted to hide the hurt at his irritation at seeing you.

"I, uh, I thought that – Honestly? I don't know. A few weeks ago my boyfriend cheated on me with another girl in our bed. I had to move out of my apartment because he had moved in with me and then he started stalking me and singing dumb love songs outside my door at night. And I couldn't find an apartment close enough to my job, where I have the worst boss ever or I did because for some horrid reason I quit my job and found an apartment here despite it putting me closer to not one of my exes but _three_. And the only thing that calmed me down about my quarter life crisis was thinking about the summer we spent together and how happy and fun and safe it was. This was stupid though. I don't know why I thought showing up at your house like a _freak_ was a good idea but here I am and now I don't know what to do because I thought the dude who opened the door was weird but no, it's me. So could you either tell me to leave or slap me or something so I stop tal-" Your words cut off as his strong arms wrapped around you in a hug, his little trinkets discarded in favour of drawing you in.

"I'm glad you showed up like a freak." He chuckled, breath warm as he pressed a quick kiss to your temple. "And I was surprised, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." How could he still read me so easily?

"You are?"

"Yeah. I missed you." Sighing, you relaxed into the hug and held on tighter as he gathered you impossibly closer to him.

"Missed you too." You breathed. And you had a bazillion things to say, question, and answer but with him, it all felt simple. You didn't need to define anything at this moment, you could relax.

 _Cause I've been living only for this moment and I don't want to let it slip away. I've been living only for this moment and I don't know how much that I can take, yeah._

"So, how have you been?" He had pulled you into his house, offered you a steaming cup of tea and you found yourself relaxing into his couch. You had both situated yourself so that one knee was bent underneath your body, the other off the side of the couch so you could face each other and talk without craning your neck.

"Uh, I think I kind of word vomited that at you over there." Motioning your head to the door, you blushed as you sipped the perfect cup of tea in surprise. How did he remember how you liked it? Actually it shouldn't surprise you seeing as you remembered some of the smallest things about him too. Like how when we were going to sleep at night, he liked to have you cuddled to his chest with a pillow on the other side of you so that you didn't roll off and get hurt despite you practically being an adult. Like how folding his socks into the ordinary ball made his eye twitch but he wouldn't say anything. Like how there was a scar on his left pectoral from getting bit by a 'vicious' cat. "How are you?"

"Good, I'm, yeah. Good." Pausing for a moment, you gave him a look and he shook his head and told you the truth. "Okay. I'm not good. I met my dad and sister. Stopped racing. Oh, and I was almost killed by that evil speedster, Zoom, and the Flash saved me and I know his secret identity so I work with him and his team to help people." You were silent for a moment, searching his fearful eyes wondering what had your strong Wally so petrified 'til you realized he was afraid you wouldn't believe him.

"If I remember correctly, saving damsels in distress is your specialty." Setting the empty cup on the side table, his shoulders deflated as he laughed.

"I hardly call you punching a guy out for getting hands-y with you a 'damsel in distress' moment."

"Yeah but my punch backed him off, yours sent him to the ER." Smiling at him, he completely relaxed into the couch and you were happy to find that you calmed him the way he calmed you. There was a momentary pause and you were going to wait for him to say something but you had to ask.

"Did he hurt you?" Flicking his eyes up to you, he shrugged his shoulders but you were already reaching for his hands. "Don't do that Wal, talk to me." He bit his lip, tightening his grip on my hands before swallowing hard.

"No, not physically. But he, I don't know. There's this feeling inside me that consistently reminds me how weak I was, unable to do anything to stop him or to save myself. All I know is I am surrounded by extraordinary people and I have never felt more _ordinary_."

You couldn't help but scoff despite his heartfelt confession, pulling his chin up with one hand and giving him the sternest look you could muster.

"You, Wally West, are anything but ordinary. You have magic in you. You have magic hands that somehow _create things_ and magic empathy that allows you to understand people. You have a magic smile that makes everyone around you smile too. I don't know if you're looking for metahuman abilities or a sense of purpose but I do know that you're not some average person meant for average things. I have known that since I met you."

Why was it that people can't see themselves the way others see them? Sure, you knew you were as guilty as anyone of that but when people like Wally thought so little of themselves? That was a mindboggling experience.

"But you don't know them like I do. Iris, my sister, is a crazy talented journalist who can find things and get people to talk like no ones business. Joe, my dad, is a detective. Cisco literally has handcrafted the Flash suit and all the gadgets used to stop metas. Caitlin is, I don't actually know what her degree is because she can literally do everything, but she's mainly a doctor or a scientist. Harry's a jerk but he's a genius. Jesse, his daughter, is too. And Barry? He's the Flash." He was talking so quickly he didn't realize what he was saying it 'til the words were out there and you were pointing up the stairs to where the lanky boy with a megawatt smile had disappeared with a look of disbelief on your face.

"That _thing_ with the legs and the arms," You made a show of elongating your limbs, "is the Flash?" You scream whispered.

" _Thing_?"

"Please, he is every young girl's nerd dream fantasy, don't get me wrong." You responded quickly, glancing at the stairs. "But the Flash?"

"Uh, don't tell him I told you. Or anyone. Don't talk to anyone but me about it?" He begged but you were already giving him your patented _Duh_ look. "Thanks."

"Anyway, to reiterate what I early stated because you seemed to have cotton in your ears when I said it, you are magic. Literally. You could slice yourself open and glitter could pour out and I wouldn't be surprised because you have this charm about you Wally. And we're still kids despite the fact that they use the word adult to describe us. We don't know who we are, what we want to do, what we should do. I barely know what I want to wear tomorrow. You don't have to have a 'save people by running fast' purpose like the Flash. All you have to do is be Wally for right now and figure it out as you go along."

He was staring at you for an uncomfortably long amount of time now, not speaking and completely focused on your face. Then he was moving. One of his hands found the curve of your spine, the other your cheek as he tugged you into his lap. When your lips met it was the most beautifully disjointed thing you'd ever experienced. This wasn't like the passion-filled kiss you'd shared in the sand, no, this was clanking teeth and timid tongues. This was wandering hands and unintentional Eskimo kisses.

"I'm not letting you walk away this time." The words were whispered breathlessly, lips a centimeter apart as he made you a promise. You hummed softly.

"You don't need to make promises like that." You pressed your lips to his slowly, pulling away with a small nip to his lower lip as you opened your eyes to stare into his. "Because you couldn't get rid of me if you tried."

 _Baby please no promises cause we won't keep our promises. And I know the consequences so baby please, baby please no promises. Baby please no promises._

"And this is the cortex." All the heads in the room swiveled to face you and Wally, one of them covered by the hood and his face vibrating.

"Dude!" It was the guy you assumed was Cisco from the way Wally described him. "Seriously, what's the point of a secret lair if you don't keep it secret?"

"Sorry." He shrugged, "Wanted to give my girlfriend a tour of the place. Thought you guys were out or at least not consistently in the cortex." Cisco's eye twitched.

"This is where we," He made a circle with his hand to include him, a pretty brunette, a young girl and who you figured was Harry, "Work." 

"Semantics."

"Wait, did you say girlfriend?" The older dark skinned man stepped up, outstretching his hand at Wally's shy nod. "Nice to meet you girlfriend I knew nothing about."

"It's nice to meet you Detective West, sir. It's really nice to meet you. Wally has talked about you a lot and how nice you guys were to let him live with you despite barely knowing him and him acting like a jerk- and I'm talking to much aren't I? Wally?" He placed a hand over your mouth, grinning at you with amusement but the rest of the team saw love written in his gaze.

"I like her." The detective decided and you blushed a deep red.

"I'm Iris." Seeing you needed a save, she stepped in and you were sure you'd be great friends. Batting away Wally's hand, you introduced yourself and shook her head before introducing yourself to the rest of the team. The pretty brunette was Caitlin, Jesse was the young girl and Harry and Cisco were who you thought they were.

"I'm the Fl-"

"Hi Barry."

"Aw man, seriously?" The hood was off, his face still and voice normal as he stared at you expectantly. He wanted an explanation on how you knew his secret identity. Holding your hands up, you pointed to Wally.

"Hey, I'm not the only one in this relationship that word vomits."

"You said you wouldn't tell!" He argued, burying his face in your hair when Barry turned his stare on him and Cisco pointed at him like _aha! Bad secret keeper!_

"No, I said I wouldn't tell his secret identity to anyone." You patted his cheek. Untangling yourself from his arms despite his affronted huff, you reached out and stroked Barry's suit.

"Aerodynamic with a sensor system and therma-threading, made of reinforced tri-polymer." Nodding in appreciation, you turned to a skeptical Cisco. "Nice." 

"How you know that?" He questioned, chin back and eyes narrowed despite his seemingly joking words.

"I'm a clothing designer, but my specialty is costumes." You shrugged, and he body relaxed before he got an affronted look on his face.

"This, this, _this perfection_ is not a costume!"

"It is 'til you use a lighter fabric and you get rid of the pointy lightning bolt ears on the side of this grown man's head."

"I like her. I am keeping her. Follow me, we have adjustments to make. Barry, get naked!"

As you followed Cisco from the room, his hand reaching back to grab the suit Barry tossed his way, Wally's fingers grazed yours and you looked up to give him a dazzling smile before following his friend out the door.

Wally didn't need meta abilities. Sure, he wanted superspeed to be able to do more, be more, help more. But at this moment, watching his girlfriend be accepted by his family so easily was about as wonderful as it got.


	8. Lights On(Barry AllenPlussized Reader)

_**She didn't understand why Barry Allen loved her. Or the one where Barry Allen is his cute, loving self and the reader wants him to understand that she's not like other girls. She's not good enough for him. And he wants to know who hurt her.**_

 **Pairing: Barry Allen/ Plus-Sized Female (she).**

 **Words: 2.9k+**

 **TW: Self-conciousness of body, mentions of suicide (but not from the OC), mentions of sexual harassment, and a slight panic attack.**

 **.I don't follow the song lyrics I put in between the sections – honestly, I kind of use them as scene breaks – but it's more of a I write the story and it ties into the song at some point.**

 _You look so good with your clothes on and I'm not trying to come off too strong; but you know that I can't help it cause girl you're beautiful._

She wasn't beautiful; at least not to herself. Her smile was a little crooked, her nose a bit too big, her thighs too chubby, her stretch marks too prominent. Sure, she was attractive but not in the way Iris or Caitlin was, or the models decorating magazine covers with their stick thin bodies, megawatt smiles. They were elegance; she was kooky or quirky. It was her little eccentricates that made her interesting. While she didn't love her body, she had accepted it and that was good enough.

Perhaps it was countless disappointments that turned her sour when love was involved. Boys that liked how big her boobs were but not her thighs. Guys who liked girls with big booties but not 'muffin tops'. Men who liked women for their intelligence – and while the compliment was there, so was the underlying insult. But her heart was a traitorous fool who liked the man with lightning in his veins and heroics in his eyes.

Barry Allen was her opposite. In every way. He was stick thin, could not gain weight if he tried. He was goofy bravado with limbs too long for his body. He was a hero and, despite having abilities of her own, the only evils she was fighting were in her own head. How could she not fall in love with him? He was the strongest person she knew and she could use a little strength.

"Cisco, I'm not wearing that." She was adamantly shaking her head, pointing at the offending cloth with little to no interest. What was he thinking?

She had joined Cisco in the Cortex at his insistent demands to look at his latest and greatest. She had not expected this. He had made her a suit. It was a three-piece number with the tightest leather pants she had ever seen, a tight long-sleeved bodice and knee-high boots. It was all black except for the emblem on the right arm; a small circle with a design that looked like the neurological pathways in the brain to signify her ability to get in someone's mind.

"You don't like it?" She hadn't meant to hurt his feelings, and she had if his kicked puppy look was anything to go by, but she wasn't going to lie.

"I can't _fit_ in it." She was used to that. Trying to find clothes at a boutique, or a department store, was a tedious thing and she was numb to the fact that people didn't think double-digits were a size.

"Yes you can! I had it tailored for you." He had her measurements from when she was first getting her _you're a metahuman but we don't know if you're evil_ physical from Caitlin, stating it was for _stuff_ when it was so he could create this beauty.

"Cisco, it means a lot that you would make this for me. Honestly. But it looks like elastic and if it did fit me, I wouldn't feel comfortable. But I'm serious, thank you." She didn't stick around to hear his argument, mind already elsewhere as she forgot all about what would have hurt a younger her. She was so focused on the notes in her hands, scribbling a new formula that she didn't even notice Cisco had followed her into the hall or the man clad in leather step beside him.

Barry had gotten back from a routine zip around the city to look for crime when he'd overheard her and Cisco's conversation, pausing at the threshold of the cortex and hiding himself around the corner. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Especially that she was so calm about not about being able to fit in the outfit.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"That we prove to her that she is absolutely gorgeous inside and out despite the lies she has been spun growing up so she loves herself as much as we love her?" Cisco looked at Barry like he had grown another head.

"I was gonna say add colour to the suit but I like your plan a lot better."

 _And I can't deny I want your body; but I'm a gentleman so I'll be the one who takes it slowly cause girl you're so beautiful._

She wasn't supposed to go out into the field, that was a unanimous decision between them all because she still wasn't in complete control of her abilities and she was obviously petrified at the thought. But she didn't have a choice. Someone had snatched the Flash, plucked him in the air as he ran and held him in a meaty paw over the scared citizens of Central City like bad horror movie.

Team Flash had been on scene, setting the tools up in an old ice cream truck – although the amount of times kids knocked had increased 'til Harry stuck his head out the window and did what Harry does best; scare people. Everything was great. Then in a flash, she was stepping out of the truck with a tremble shaking her to the core and a faux brave face. Perhaps if she tried hard enough, she could convince herself that she could do this.

"Put him down!" She yelled, hoping her voice would be enough to startle the man but he was not one for talking apparently as he turned around and made himself grow bigger. "Or not."

"Get out of here!" Barry yelled when a large hand almost flattened her like a pancake, her body tilting to the side and rolling out of the way right as his hand smacked the pavement. Ignoring him, she looked up at the meta and held out a hand. It was a trick to help her focus as blue swirls flew from her hand and wrapped around his head. She was hit with a mirage of thoughts.

 _Kill Flash. Kill little girl. Kill them for wife._ Visions of a young woman sprawled in an unfortunate position filled her head. There was a huge distance between her and where this man had apparently been standing, telling her that it'd been a push that had killed his wife. As he turned, echoes of his scream echoing in her head, she saw something in the corner of the room. It was difficult to pause the memory, rewind it and pause it once more. There was a chair next to the open window that he had knocked over in his haste. And as he ran out the door, she saw the clock. Oh no.

"Did your wife die the night of the particle accelerator explosion?" He growled in response, a _yes_ echoing in his head. "The particle accelerator went off at night time. You found your wife that morning." Slowly, she raised both her hands to show she wasn't a threat. Barry's face was starting to turn red and she needed to get him out of there.

"So?" It was like he was part animal. Manimal.

"There was a chair next to the window," Pausing she gathered her bearings. "Did you find anything from her? Perhaps a, uh, a note?" He didn't answer but his mind did, _yes_.

"Sir, your wife wasn't killed by the particle accelerator. I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry but she killed herself." It was enough for him to let the Flash go, dropping him like he'd been burnt but only so he could lunge for her. There was a crackle of electricity, an arm around her waist and then she was moving at an incomprehensible speed. He shouldn't have done that.

She couldn't control her abilities when she was feeling an extreme emotion like, oh I don't know, fear and the moment her skin met his, she was met with a mirage of memories.

From a young Barry Allen running from bullies, to the horrid night he'd relived over and over, to the time he kissed Iris only to pull away in mild distaste because it felt like he had kissed his grandmother. Then the moment outside of the cortex, talking to Cisco about her costume to a few nights ago when he sat with Caitlin talking about love.

" _I miss Ronnie." Caitlin was a few too many in. Barry was regarding her carefully, wondering if he could tell her something._

" _Cait?"_

" _Hmm?"_

" _I'm in love with Y/N." Caitlin had spilled her glass of wine in her excitement as she lunged for him, hugging him tightly._

It was too much, too any memories, too many feelings mingling with her own.

She was unconscious before Barry arrived at Star Labs.

 _I wanna love you with the lights on, keep you up all night long. Darling I wanna see every inch of you, I get lost in the way you move. I wanna love you with the lights on._

Groaning, her hand lifted to her face in an attempt to block out the light. She must have forgotten to close the curtains. Her hand caught on something and she refused to open her eyes to disentangle herself so she opted for pulling at it forcefully.

"Woah, don't do that. Hey. Y/N don't do that." While the words were scolding, the voice was soft as a hand grasped hers and pushed her hair away from her face. The grasp was warm, familiar, and not supposed to be in her home with her. Snapping her eyes open, she was met with soft hazel surrounded by a glow of white.

"Am I dead?" She croaked, but the melodic laugh of Barry Allen was all she needed to know she wasn't. "I thought for sure that guy would pummel me." Her voice was little more than a whisper, a croak that broke off every other word but legible.

"I wouldn't let him do that to you." Tugging at the blankets, he pulled them to cover her more when she shivered. But she wasn't cold. No, she was being hit by all his memories; painful and happy, sad and angry, love-filled and angsty. Was she going to do it?

"Because you love me?" Apparently, she was. Man, the drugs Caitlin gave her must have been doing a pretty good job. Barry stiffened, looking at her in panic but she cocked a grin at him and squeezed his hand. Gathering his own confidence, he gave her a dazzling smile.

"No, because I'm _in_ love with you." He didn't wait for her to respond, "Go to sleep. You need more rest. We can talk when you aren't drugged." She didn't want to but his fingers were making runs through her hair, his knuckles ghosting her jaw because if she was going to tell him she didn't love him – or that she hated him for ruining their friendship – then he wanted this moment to feel close to her, was making her tired.

"Remind me to tell you I love you too when I'm less drugged, m'kay?" A smile stretched his lips and he leaned down to press a soft kiss to her forehead, sliding his nose along the shell of her ear as he promised before kissing her on the cheek and sitting down beside her once more.

 _I like the vibe in this hotel room and I'd really like to get to know you, start discovering your secrets underneath these very sheets. Your skin's so perfect up against me. Your lips are talking when we don't speak. And I never wanna leave this cause there's so much left to see._

Dating Barry Allen was like dating perfection. He was funny, smart, brave, kind. Literally, his only downfall was that he was too perfect. And she knew he didn't mean to make her feel this insecure, that he didn't even know she was, but dating the most perfect man in the world was exhausting when it felt like she constantly had to keep up with him.

"Babe, you dressed?"

No, she was panicking. She was exhausted. She was sitting in the floor of her bathtub in her underwear with a tight red dress clutched in her hands and tears pouring out of her eyes as she tried not to think about where this night might lead, or putting the restricting fabric anywhere on her body.

"Babe?" She had to answer him, he couldn't find her like this. Clearing her throat, she put on the _I'm okay_ voice she'd perfected.

"Yeah, I'm alright." She could do this. She could do this for him. If she couldn't do it for herself, she could trick herself into doing it for him. But the thing is, Barry knows her better than anyone. And the _I'm okay_ voice does not work on him.

She let out a startled yelp as the shower curtain was ripped open, the furrowed eyebrows and confused hazel eyes meeting hers and softening.

"Baby?" He questioned, dropping to his calves in front of her. And she couldn't handle that. No, the look of concern meshed with love as he reached out for her but wasn't sure where to touch was too much. "What's this?"

When she burst into tears, he didn't hesitate to climb in the small tub with her and pull her to his chest. He wanted to soothe her, wanted to tell her it was okay, that he had her but he had no idea what was going on and didn't want to say the wrong thing. So, he bundled her closer and vibrated a little to warm up her half naked body.

"I can't do it, I'm sorry." Was all she kept repeating, varying in octaves and volume but always as heartbreaking as the one before it.

"Breathe, you have to breathe lovely." It was a while before she calmed down, letting him steal the dress from her and throw it out the open bathroom door. All it did was make her cry more. "Talk to me." He was pleading at this point, he was helpless and that was not something he liked to be – perhaps, that was the 'hero' side of him. She shuffled closer, hands gripping his button up as she pressed her cold cheek to his neck and spoke softly.

"I'm not like other girls Barry, and not in that dumb Hollywood movie way but in the fact that I'm not skinny. I'm not pretty. I'm not heart-stopping or anything like that. I'm a chubby woman who grew up a chubby kid and have been made fun of for it all my life. And I can't wear the suit Cisco made me or that dumb dress because I fit in it, but I don't look good. I'm always waiting for the comments calling me a whale or something. And you're so nice, telling me I'm pretty and wonderful but I'm not Barry. I don't deserve that, I'm not good enough for you to waste your time doing that."

It was silent for a moment as her hiccupped words resonated with him and Barry Allen prided himself on being a good guy. He was stubborn. He was opinionated. He was a know-it-all sometimes but he was a good guy. But at this very moment, he wanted to use his speed to snatch up every person that ever made this wonderful, beautiful, kind-hearted woman question her self-worth. He didn't know what to say to make her feel better, perhaps there was nothing he could say at all.

"Who hurt you?" He questioned, not really looking for names because he was sure he would go to jail for murder if she told him. Glancing up at him, she noticed he wasn't angry with her for her insecurities like her other boyfriends had been. He wasn't irritated that she felt that way. He wasn't trying to convince her that she shouldn't feel that way, or that she was wrong. He was simply trying to find out why she felt that way. It was the best compliment she had ever gotten.

 _I wanna love you with the lights on, keep you up all night long. Darling I wanna see every inch of you, I get lost in the way you move. I wanna love you with the lights on. I wanna love you with the lights on, keep you up all night long. Darling I wanna see every inch of you, I get lost in the way you move. I wanna love you with the lights on._

It was the little things he did subconsciously that proved he was the one. He was her person. Like the shirts he bought that were too big for him, but he wore around the house anyway so that she could have shirts of his to wear. It was the way he put his hands on her hips and not the skinniest part of her waist, like he wasn't afraid of the extra squish he found there. It was how he held her at night like she was porcelain instead of rock, like she was the only thing that he cared about as their lips met in a slow dance. And it all added up to her feeling comfortable around him.

But the self-confidence she was forming? That was all her. Sure, it didn't hurt that she had a man as attractive as Barry Allen on her side, but it was her who put on the tight leather and her who smiled in the mirror because it did fit. It was her who slid on the mask Cisco made and stepped out the door to help the Flash. It was her face all over magazines saying she was the plus-sized superhero and it was her who framed it for her office.

She wasn't beautiful, not by conventional standards. She wasn't perfect, not by a long shot. She wasn't Caitlin or Iris or the countless models on magazines. No, she was her. Plus-sized, quirky, unique, superhero metahuman, her.

 _Love you with the lights on._


	9. Honest (Joe WestImplied Female Reader)

_**What are you supposed to do when the metahuman that kidnapped you looks exactly like your boyfriend?**_

 **Pairing: Joe/Implied Female Reader (You) but if you don't mind being called team mom then gender neutral.**

 **TW: Graphic violence and descriptions of blood.**

 **(Bear with me as I try to figure out which layout I like to start my imagines with. I am leaning to this one but I'm not sure. Sorry!)**

 _Hey, how's it going? Can you meet me down on Adelaide Street? Can you talk for a moment? There's no way to say this that easily and everything I said, I swear I meant it. I need to tell you that this isn't your fault and I know that I'll probably regret it. And it kills me 'cause the worst part of all._

"Joe?" Your voice echoed back to you in the silent park, nothing but the whipping wind and the dancing trees to keep you company. Pulling your coat tighter around you, you were questioning whether or not to leave. It was odd to get a text so late at night from your boyfriend Joe. You had been together for a while and knew that he preferred calling or appearing at your door in the middle of the night opposed to a weird text message telling you to meet him in the nearby park. Deciding that it was a little too dark, a little too mysterious for you, you turned on your heel to go home only to run smack into Joe's chest.

"Oh!" You exclaimed, grasping his shirt as he held you by the arms to keep you from falling. "Joe? You scared me."

He was silent, tilting his head to the side as he eyed you calculatingly. What was he doing? Cocking an eyebrow, you glanced behind you in confusion. He was practically staring a hole through you.

"Joe, what are you doing? You are scaring me." When his lips spread in a grin, you knew something was horribly wrong. This was not your Joe's smile. This was dark, void of any love or kindness. "You're not Joe."

"Oops." With a quick hit, you were unconscious on the pavement.

 _Is that I hate to hurt you but I got to be honest, I can't give you what you need/ Oh, you deserve more than I can promise and I'm just tryna, I'm just tryna, Baby, I'm just tryna be honest, yeah. I'm tryna be honest with ya. You know that I'm sorry but I'm tryna be honest with ya._

"Let me go." You hissed, blood bubbling at your split lips as you spat at the man who looked so much like the one you loved but was little more than a monster.

"Tell me who the Flash is."

"How am I supposed to know?" You were Joe's significant other, of course you knew. But you weren't going to tell him that.

"Everyone in this city knows that the Flash works with Joe West. How could he have the amount of closed cases that he does otherwise? Plus, something tells me the Flash would do anything to get you safe for dear Joe." He was inches from your face, knife glinting in the darkness and you had a decision to make. While your hands were bound behind your back, whoever this _actually_ was obviously did not get his knots badge in boy scouts – or girl scouts. You didn't know this guy's actual gender but as long as he was wearing Joe's face, he was a guy to you.

You could get your hands out but then what? You were hurt. Badly. You had cuts along your body, your stomach and thighs mostly but your arms had been victim too. Your lip was busted, one of your eyes swollen and everything ached. But you were full of adrenaline, feeling like your whole body was buzzing and you could do this.

Reeling your head back, you slammed it into his with enough force to make your eyes water and your vision blur. Sliding your hands from the ropes, you grabbed the knife while he was still disoriented and pointed it at him. With a snarl, he was on top of you and it all was so quick. His hand going around your throat, the other pinning your arm down but the training course that Joe had practically forced you into was handy as you pushed with your knees to get the guy off balance, plunging the knife into him. It was silent for a moment, nothing but his shocked eyes staring into yours as blood trickled from his agape mouth. Then you pushed him off of you.

You wanted to run immediately, you didn't want to look at the man you'd had to kill but his body started cycling through the different forms he'd had and you couldn't look away 'til his original form looked up at you.

You were going to be sick.

It was a blank face, not a single detail and you didn't want to know why. If you did, you might go insane and you needed to focus on getting out of there. You couldn't think about it.

You had already memorized your surroundings. A large, empty office building like structure with only one exit and a bunch of metal tables filled with various tools. The man had destroyed your phone and keys, stolen the jewelry off your body but had laid it prone on a nearby table. Snatching the necklace Joe gave you, you limped numbly to the door. You could not look back, not if you wanted to walk out of here.

It was daylight when you opened the doors, shocking your eyes and blurring your sight as you stumbled through the open doorway. You hadn't expected that. Though you knew he'd had you for a few days. A sharp beeping noise grabbed your attention and you held the necklace in front of your face, your other hand holding you steady on the doorframe. It had only beeped once, quiet in a crowd but you were completely alone. There was a red dot glowing in the center of the diamond and you had never been more happy that Joe was overprotective.

Sliding into a crouch, you held the necklace between your shaky hands and pressed the bundle to your chest as your butt hit the dirt. Barry would find you. You were alright.

 _Hey, can you listen? I swear to you, there's nobody else. You're gonna say that I'm lying when I tell you every feeling I felt was honest and sincere and that you were different. And when we kissed I felt like that kid in love, yeah. And I know that I'll probably regret it, I might wish I never said this at all._

You didn't know what was more shocking; that the team actually brought you to the hospital and not Star Labs or that you were surrounded by them when you opened your eyes. Iris and Wally were sprawled on a couch, Iris with a book and Wally snoring. Cisco and Caitlin were tapping at something, probably trying to upgrade the equipment around you. Barry was leaning on the door, still in his Flash suit but his hood was down and he had his eyes closed.

Joe was sitting in the chair beside your bed; one of his hand propped his head so he could see you, the other rested next to yours but wasn't touching the marred flesh.

Some little piece of you knew this was Joe, that though his eyes were closed, when he opened them he would be the Joe you knew. But you didn't think about that. All you knew is you were in pain, confused and looking at the face of the man who'd hurt you over and over 'til you plunged a knife into him.

Despite your dry throat, you were able to let out an ear-piercing scream that sent the Team into a frenzy. Wally all but fell off the couch, Iris giving herself a paper cut in shock. Caitlin froze and Cisco threw the tablet in the air, fumbling to grab it. Barry had the hood over his head, his body thrumming. Joe was reaching for his gun, his sharp eyes on you as he reached out a hand.

But you were still screaming, shoving the covers away as you looked at him in fear. Anyone could have seen the heartbreak on your boyfriend's face as you tried to get away from him. Then you were falling off the bed, Barry was still too shocked to stop you so your butt hit the floor with a jolt that had your body tensing but you used that to scoot yourself 'til you were in a corner, knocking the IV sideways and ignoring the cold that seeped through the open backed gown.

"Hey, you are safe. You are alright. It's me, Barry." He pulled the hood off, moving as slowly as he could with his arms up as he attempted to get to you. But you screeched, shaking like a leaf as you pointed at Joe. "No, it's not the meta. It's not. This is Joe, your Joe."

But you didn't believe him, whimpers and pleads falling out of your mouth but they were unintelligible to the group.

"You have to calm down so I can fix your IV, okay?" It was Caitlin who grabbed your attention. Friendly. Nice. Cait. She was moving to the stand, picking it up slowly but not enough to make you suspicious. She was being careful, but not acting like you were a caged animal. "Can I look at your stitches, make sure you didn't pull them?"

"Out." You pleaded, turning your face instead of answering her and pushing your nose into the corner. "Out."

"You can't leave the hospital if I don't check your wounds." No, she wasn't listening. Shaking your head, you tried to hold in your tears as memories played in your head. Slaps, kicks and punches. A glinting knife, smile on a face that shouldn't have hurt you.

"Out!" You screamed, grasping at your hair and staring directly into Barry's eyes. He would understand.

"Do you want a doctor? They can give you something. For the pain, yeah?" No. No. No!

"OUT!" When your eyes met 'Joe's', you were surprised to see he understood. Was he your Joe? No, you couldn't be sure.

"She wants me to leave." Holding his hands in front of him, he gave you a pained smile but started to move to the door under your watchful eyes.

"Dad!" Not even the call of his daughter could stop him. You were scared, he had to respect that. He had the footage of him 'attacking' you, they had all heard about the body Barry found. If you were hurt enough to kill someone that looked like him, you were scarred in a way he couldn't understand.

"No, she needs help. Okay? Help her." When his form disappeared from your sight, you had a thick feeling in your throat like you'd made the wrong choice but you weren't sure why. You were obviously more relaxed, legs unfurling and shoulders untensing.

"Can I?" Caitlin questioned, moving to you at your nod. Bunching your gown up, she was pleased to see none of the more important gashes had been harmed. "Would you mind if Cisco were to help me put you on the bed?" You had reacted violently to the Flash, so she didn't think Barry was a good choice.

"Yeah." You whispered, letting the man hook an arm under yours as Caitlin helped you get your balance as he pulled you into a standing position. Leading you to the bed was simple, helping you get into not so much.

"You have to get back in." Caitlin was insisting but you were staring at the small blood stain from the smaller cuts that had reopened. They didn't want to have to bring in a nurse, especially if Joe was having to hold them off out there. They would have to if you didn't cooperate.

You could remember a stain like that on a cold chair, in a dank room with a dead man. It was like a suckerpunch to the face. You had been so strong, physically and emotionally – mentally you were a little screwed with knowing if Joe was Joe or _Joe_ – but you were in pain, you were tired, and you were safe. With a full body tremble, you collapsed into Cisco and he gave an affronted huff 'til he realized you hadn't passed out. You were sobbing.

 _Oh, I hate to hurt you but I got to be honest. I can't give you what you need. Oh, you deserve more than I can promise and I'm just tryna, I'm just tryna, baby, I'm just tryna be honest, yeah. I'm tryna be honest with ya. You know that I'm sorry but I'm tryna be honest with ya._

You were the team mom. Or at least, that's what they dubbed you. You weren't a meta, or a genius, or a cop, you were normal. You had a normal job, a normal life, a normal upbringing, but were surrounded by the extraordinary. But you didn't blink an eye. Barry was hurt? You were there to hold him. Iris and Wally were arguing? You were there with a stern but loving solution. Cisco was having nightmares? You would talk with him all night if you had to. Caitlin was struggling with the pain of losing her husband, or her crazy ex-boyfriend? You were there to love her. And it was their turn.

You were like a shell of yourself and while it wasn't enough to repay you for all that you'd done for them, they weren't going to leave you. They were going to help you. They were going to love you.

"Are you sure that you are alright with staying here by yourself?" Iris asked for the who-knows-how-many time. She put the small duffel she had packed for you on the hospital chair, scooting it within reach as she fixed your blankets.

"Ris," You smiled at her, grasping her hand in yours. "I am fine. You have a city to save. Find the meta, put him in the pipeline and then bust me out of here, okay?" You were almost fully healed. They were simply making sure you didn't have side effects from the concussion and that your wounds didn't get infected. You had been there for longer than you would like but you were getting restless.

"Alright." She sighed, smiling at you. "I will blackmail them to get you out of here if I have to. We miss you at the cortex. There are some officers outside your door if you need anything, and your phone is here. I put my-"

"Iris." You cut her off, "I know. Now go." You shoved her a little and she laughed, kissing your cheek and heading for the door. Her heels stopped clacking as her hand met the door handle, a pensive look on her face. Regarding her curiously, you let out a sigh as you realized what she was about to do.

"Joe says to tell you hi and that he loves you." She didn't wait for a response, knowing she wouldn't get one as she slid out the door and you could hear her heels click down the hall. Letting the smile slide off your face, you fell into the silence you were slowly getting a little too comfortable with. You were putting on a brave face for your friends, knowing that if you didn't you'd break and they would blame themselves so you loved the moments when you could simply exist.

You had yet to see Joe, not since you first opened your eyes and screamed the place down. He hadn't tried and you hadn't asked. You were still having nightmares about the man who'd hurt you – though, it was easier to separate him from Joe when you had his name; Leo Logan – and having to kill him to get away, although no one blamed you for that. They had told you they had no idea where you were, if you hadn't of gotten out they might not have found you.

Along with the nightmares, you were living in a constant state of fear that you were dreaming, that you were passed out somewhere in a ditch and not safe. It was confusing. And what about your relationship? Sure, you loved Joe with all your heart but would you be able to look at him and not see Leo?

A solid knock at your door startled you, a small nurse you knew as Debra walking in with your pain medication. Giving you a bright smile, she helped you sit in a straight up position. She didn't start a conversation 'til you'd had your pain meds and were getting your gauzes changed.

"We can remove the stitches from the laceration above your eyebrow tomorrow, the rest are going to need a few more days but we can probably let you out of here within the next while." You knew Caitlin was going to flash her fancy credentials and move you to Star Labs at some point tonight but Debra didn't need to know that. "Perhaps that detective can get some sleep then."

"You mean the uni's?"

"The what?"

"Uniforms. A detective wears street clothes, badge and gun. Uni's are the ones in the full uniform." Debra looked up from where she was cleaning your deepest gash, eyebrows furrowed over deep brown eyes and blew a piece of raven coloured hair out of her face.

"No, it's a detective. Both of them are. Uh," She rolled to her clipboard, checking the names they had for safety reasons and 'aha'd' when she found them. "Patty Spivet and Joe West." Choking on your own spit, you tried to steel your face with a nod. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no. I didn't expect to have detectives on the case. That's all." It was silent as she finished her work, checking to make sure she had done them all before removing her gloves and getting her clipboard.

"Do you need anything else?" Giving her a smile, you shook your head before faltering as she started to leave.

"Actually," She paused, turning to look at you. "Could you send one of the detectives in? Joe, if you can."

Nodding, she pulled open the door and stuck her head out as you tried not to talk yourself out of this.

 _Oh oh oh, I don't want to see you cry, Oh oh oh, swear that I don't want to see you cry._

Debra was quick to move out of the way as Joe barged into the room, hand on his gun as he swept the place. Closing the door behind her, the nurse left you alone. Joe, having found no danger, turned to you with concern.

"What's wrong? Are you alright? Do I need to call Caitlin?" He questioned, hand moving from where it rested on his gun to his phone and your heart ached. He thought the only reason you would talk to him is because you were hurting or something was wrong. Something was wrong but with that picture, not with you. What was more startling was the fact that you didn't have the slightest reaction to his face, like the face Leo wore was little more than a mask.

Leo had been angry, eyes an empty darkness and smile a twisted sneer whereas Joe, your Joe's, was an open book. He was expressive. While his eyes were a dark brown, they twinkled in the fluorescents despite the bags underneath them. His smile was small, lifting the corners of his lips enough for his teeth to peek out but it was as fake as the one you'd given to Iris earlier. He was exhausted.

Realizing you still hadn't answered him and he was getting antsy, you shook your head and held your hand out instead. He blinked at it. Then he blinked at you. Then he looked at your hand. Wiggling your fingers at him, you waited 'til he put his tentatively in yours. He wanted nothing more than to gather you in his arms and hold you impossibly tight but he couldn't do anything to hurt you more than he'd already let you get hurt. But the moment his hand hit yours, you were dragging him into you and holding him tight.

All you needed was the one touch to know this was your Joe, that you had, had to do something that you could never forget but you were safe. If you looked close enough, you could see the little mistakes the meta had made. He hadn't gotten it completely right when he had stolen Joe's face. Leo had been less muscled, some of Joe's freckles missing and the skin-tone was even a little too dark. The more you looked at Joe, the less you saw Leo's version and that calmed you more than anything as you held the trembling man in your arms.

"I can't do this alone." You admitted, voice a thick mess with unshed tears. Putting a hand on his cheek, he only leaned back enough to see your eyes.

"You aren't alone." He promised, "I'm here. I'm not going to let you get hurt."

"You can't promise that Joe."

"No but you deserve for me to try."

"I don't want you to get yourself hurt in the process."

"Honestly, I would do whatever I had to, to keep you safe."

"I know." Is all you said, pulling him into you by his soft cheeks and kissing the man you loved. You were safe. You were with Joe.

 _Cause I hate to hurt you but I got to be honest, I can't give you what you need. Oh, you deserve more than I can promise and I'm just tryna, I'm just tryna, baby, I'm just tryna be honest. I hate to hurt you but I got to be honest, I can't give you what you need. Oh, you deserve more than I can promise and I'm just tryna, I'm just tryna, baby, I'm just tryna be honest._


	10. Patience (RathowayUspecified Gender)

_**You wanted nothing to more than an apology, instead you found a lover where you thought you'd find a friend.**_

 **Pairing: Hartley Rathaway/Gender Neutral Reader (You.)**

 _You hit me up, it's late at night, this is the same old story. Your friends should take your phone away, I always give in when you tell me lies to reassure me. I always make the same mistakes, yeah._

"Hold that thought." You laugh, holding your pointer finger up to cut off your best friend as you answer the phone. "Hello?"

"Baby?" You would recognize that slurred tone anywhere. Rolling your eyes, you give your friend a sign that you are going to get some fresh air and she nods, turning to the rest of your group. Sliding through the crowd, you make it to the entrance to the bar and press the phone to your ear.

"What do you want Hartley?" You demand, "You are drunk."

"Please, you have to listen to me." You could barely hear him over the background noise on his side. You could make out Cisco's animated tone, Caitlin's little tinkling laugh and some guy you'd never heard before threatening to run himself into a wall if they didn't stop making fun of him.

"I don't have to do anything." You argue, pressing the heel of your hand to your forehead. Gone was the mirth of the evening, replaced with an irritated sigh and headache.

"No but I want you to. Are you? Are you listening?" You don't say anything and he figures that is his cue to continue speaking. "I didn't mean to hurt you or anybody, really. I was getting the Flash's attention. And he and I are friends so why can't you stop being mad at me?"

Scoffing, you let the anger burning in your veins echo in your words.

"You didn't hurt me, Rathaway. You almost killed me. Those little sonic glove things burst my eardrum. I can't be a firefighter anymore because of you. So I think I have a few more reasons to be angry at you then the scarlet speedster." Man, you wished you had a flip phone to make the hang up more dramatic.

You were tired of him calling, begging you to listen only for him to act like he'd done you a favour or lied to make you feel like he was a good guy. He was a mistake. One you were done making.

 _Ooh, you give me a little taste. Lure me in then you take it from me. Oh, I hate that, I love it cause you're driving me crazy._

Staring at down at his phone, Hartley wanted to kick himself. Why couldn't he apologize without somehow blaming you? It was his fault, he knew that but he couldn't admit it to you.

"Hey, you good?" Cisco questioned, patting him on the shoulder and he tried to smile but it didn't really work.

"No, I, uh, I called Y/N." He admitted, tossing his phone onto the table as Cisco gave him a concerned look.

"Man, that wasn't a good idea." Duh.

"I know."

"Wait, why did Y/N answer if they knew it was you?" Cisco had a point, why would you answer him? Unless you were distracted. Still. "You have to stop doing this to each other man, you are luring each other in and driving each other crazy. You are driving me crazy! Why don't you ask them to meet with you? Talk it through. It could work."

Because that would be the adult thing to do and we are apparently children.

"I'll think about it." Hartley agreed, swigging his drink and letting a smirk lift his pink lips. Cisco was right. It could work, if he could get you to agree to meet with him.

 _First you say you love me then you say you don't. I wake up in the morning and I'm all alone, tell me that you're willing then you say you won't. Can you make your mind up, please, I'm losing my patience. You know I'm losing my patience, yeah._

"Hartley, I'm exhausted and running late. I don't have time for this."

"Meet me at our spot, 3 pm." Stumbling through your living room as you held your phone up to your ear with one shoulder, one hand holding your stuff for work and the other sliding on your shoe, you almost fell over at his words.

"And why would I do that?" You scoffed, mussing your hair in the mirror with a frown and slamming your apartment door behind you. Locking it with a flourish, you turned around to face a giant teddy bear. "What the-? Rathaway! Is this your doing?"

"Read the note and then meet me this afternoon." Did he – Yeah, he hung up. Sliding your phone in your pocket, you plucked the note from the bear with a grimace.

 _Dear Y/N,_  
 _I have made a lot of mistakes, that I know, but I ask you to meet me this afternoon so we can talk and I can explain without making you feel like any of my stupidity is your fault. If not, I understand. Keep the gifts anyway, as an I'm sorry I ruined your life._  
 _I love you._  
 _Hartley Rathaway._

Dumb boy being cute and messing with my emotions making me later to work than I already am- wait, did he say _gifts_? Staring into the bear's eyes, you shutter before glancing down to see it holding out a box to you. Stealing it from its paw, you snap it open expecting it to be a ring or something but are instead met with something so much better.

Letting your stuff for work drop, you cover your mouth with your hand and let your back slam into your door as you cry. He didn't. Honestly, you thought he'd never do something like this. It wasn't that Hartley wasn't a good guy, you were sure he was because you'd seen it, but he was a genius who was secretive about his work. When the particle accelerator went off and his ears went wonky, he built himself a perfectly tuned hearing implement that handled that. But at that point, he'd already hurt you and you wanted nothing to do with him.

Staring at you from the box was your very own implement, sleek and beautiful and how he knew how to tune it to your ear you didn't know but you were curious to know if it worked. It was delicate. You were afraid you were going to break it as you lifted it out of the box, flicking it on and sliding it in your ear. There was a soft crackle but that was enough to have you in full blown sobs because you could hear. Sirens and footsteps, screams and whispers, talking and laughing. You could even hear your own sob.

Without thinking, you unlocked your apartment door and pulled the gigantic bear inside as you tried to get ahold of yourself long enough to call into work. You had plans. You had a boy to thank.

 _I'm in your room, it's just us two, I feel you getting closer. You rest your head upon my chest, yeah. Deep down I know that this should be the last time I come over; you always leave me such a mess._

It was a mess of hands, tangle of limbs as you dragged him into your apartment. It was soft caresses. It was open-mouth kisses, giggles as you tripped on the gigantic bear. It was love-filled, full of life and passion as you made out on the couch like teenagers in love. You didn't do more than that, there was too much hurt in both of you to try but you didn't mind as you rested your head on his chest and he stroked his hand languidly up and down your arm.

You had something like this before with less clothes and more anger in a moment of weakness. You were lonely. So was he. And it made sense to go to someone you knew. The person who had hurt you. Okay, it had been more than a few times but who was counting. Because the next morning he was gone like you'd asked, or you had disappeared from his warm hold in the middle of the night.

But this was different, when you went to sleep you would be in his arms and when the bird that had found residence outside your window decided to sing in the morning, you would open your eyes to find Hartley still there.

First you say you love me then you say you don't. I wake up in the morning and I'm all alone. Tell me that you're willing then you say you won't. Can you make your mind up, please, I'm losing my patience; you know I'm losing my patience, yeah.

You were wrong. When the bird – you named him Stumpy – started singing the next morning, you were not in Hartley's arms. And your heart started breaking as you sat up, nothing but silence in the house as you put in your implement. That is 'til you heard pans clattering in the kitchen and a soft ouch yelped. The little cracks in your heart started to mesh themselves together as you slid out of bed, slipping into your house shoes and making your way down the stairs.

"Cisco, how many eggs? No, I already put that. Yes, you said to put the flour first. I was supposed to wait? Never mind, let me call Vicki – Yes, your mother and I are on a first name basis. Cisco," Sighing, he put down the phone as the man obviously hung up on him.

"Are you trying to make pancakes?" Startled a puff of flour flew into Hartley's face, both lenses of his glasses falling victim to a thin layer of white as you laughed. Stepping into the kitchen, you ignored the mess on your counter and used your sleeve to wipe off enough that Hartley could see you. Grinning, his arms went around your waist and held you there as he kissed you good morning.

"Good Morning."

"Hmm, Good morning indeed." You agreed, glancing at your mess of a kitchen with a raised eyebrow.

"Okay I was trying to make Vicki's, you remember Cisco's mom? I was trying to make her waffles because you have a waffle maker but I didn't want to make her get up. Cisco was useless." He tutted, wiping off the rest of the flour from his glasses as you circled the counter and picked up the mix. It had a recipe for waffles on the side and you showed it to him.

"Remember when Cisco was complaining that although he fought with his family, he sure missed his mom's cooking? Then I made him that big breakfast that he cried about even though he denies crying? I called her and asked for her waffle recipe, she let me in on a secret." For whatever reason, Cisco had begged you to be his 'date' for one of his family shindigs that he didn't want to go to alone and needed a friend. You were the only one available. Vicki, Cisco's mother, fell in love with you and you used that to pump her for recipes for Cisco. Although, it did bring you and Cisco closer.

"Are you kidding me?" Hartley exclaimed, stealing the box like a little kid and you couldn't help but smile at how adorable he was.

"But it's the thought that counts babe, and the cleanup." You weren't going to wipe the egg off the ceiling. Grabbing a clean bowl, you made him your sidekick as he measured and you stirred the ingredients in. It wasn't 'til you were pouring the batter into the mold that you realized how domesticated this was. How it was only yesterday morning that you couldn't stand him, or at least you thought you couldn't. Perhaps all you had wanted was an apology that wasn't half-blame, one that proved he was listening and that he knew when he blew out the windows of the office you had been visiting your friend in that he had burst your eardrum and left you deaf in one ear, and with only 75% of your hearing in the other although you had a hearing implement for that one already. You had a lot you had to work through with him but at the moment, you were content to let yourself remember what it felt like to be in love with him.

Wrapping his arms around you from behind, he laced his fingers together on your stomach and let his head fall into the crook of your shoulder with a grin. He was trailing kisses all over you 'til his mouth stopped. Right by the ear you couldn't have heard him in without the implement.

"I could tell you I love you, but that's a bit too cliché so I'm gonna say how much longer 'til breakfast is ready?"

Whacking him with a spoon was almost as fun as watching him fall on top of the gigantic bear in an attempt to get away from you, his head popping up from the fuzzy chest with glasses askew and mouth wide open as you laughed joyfully at the man you never thought you would find home with.

 _I'm losing my patience, yeah._


	11. Bad Reputation(Jesse QuickMale Reader)

_**Jesse Quick is a hero and is kind of tired of people calling her a bad sidekick.**_

 **Pairing: Jesse Quick/Male Reader (You).**

 **Requested: by a beautiful Anon.**

 _She got a bad reputation. She takes the long way home. And all of my friends've seen her naked or so the story goes. Mistakes we all make them but they won't let it go, no. Cause she's got a bad reputation but I know what they don't, hmm._

"Are you kidding me?" Your head snapped up at the sound of Jesse's yell, her angry stomps bringing her into the cortex although she could have simple flashed in. "Who the crap writes this trash?" She tossed it in front of Iris, figuring that she could explain why _Picture News_ would write whatever 'trash' was on the page. But the young girl was too angry to wait for Iris to read it, reciting the title verbatim with an irritated sigh.

" _ **The Flash's new sidekick or sidechick**_? Pictured to the side, our cities hero has been spotted with a new sidekick; a girl?! Is she the Flash's crime-fighting or bedroom partner?" Noone spoke, although your head was spinning that someone had the gall to write that about a heroine. "Is it because I have boobs?"

"Jesse!" Harry tutted, not wanting to hear about his daughter's _assests_.

"Don't you Jesse me! Go and," She glanced at the writer's name, "Fred them! Why would they write that I was sleeping with Barry? Why would it matter? We're not because _ew_ – no offense – but still!" When no one said anything, still too befuddled to respond to her outburst, she threw herself into a nearby chair with a huff.

"I'm going to go have a talk with 'Fred'." Pressing a kiss to Barry's forehead, Iris was a woman on a mission as her heels clacked down the hall. Man, you would feel bad for Fred if he weren't a jerk.

"I'm going to go _do something_." Cisco was quick to grab Caitlin by the arm and escape the awkwardness, Harry not far behind as Barry flashed elsewhere. When it was only you and Jesse still in the room, you decided you hated your friends but they obviously wanted you to talk to her.

"Jesse, you know it's not true right? That isn't how people think of you. He is trying to sell stories." You were not sure how to console her but that seemed like a good attempt. Sighing, she let her head fall back on the chair and her legs stretch out in front of her.

"Yeah, I know. But it, I don't know. It really sucks that Barry gets to run around and save people but I'm a girl and demoted to bed buddy when I can do exactly, okay _mostly_ , what he can do!"

"No, it's not fair but you're a woman." She sat up straight and you held your hands up in a placating manner. "You are a woman who is going to have to do exactly what she did to get her degrees. You are going to work harder than any man. You are going to have to prove yourself consistently. Barry screws up? Oh, it was an accident. If you screw up? You are always going to be known by that one little thing. So you do whatever you have to do to be the best, even though it's completely stupid and senseless. Do what you want but do it perfectly."

Staring at you for a long moment, she looked like she was going to deck you in the face. Instead, she stood in front of you. Grabbing your cheeks, she mushed her lips to yours in a kiss that you didn't even realize was happening 'til she pulled away to grin at you with lightning in her eyes.

"You are absolutely right."

 _And I don't care what they say about you baby. They don't know what you've been through. Trust me, I could be the one to treat you like a lady. Let me see what's underneath, all I need is you._

"And in other news, The Flash's sidekick has proved that she is little more than for her looks. During a metahuman attack today, she was knocked down repeatedly. Only for the Flash to speed in and save the day."

"He was made of _metal_! What did they expect me to do? Melt him in the middle of the city?" Despite the scoff, you knew she was hurt by the media's blatantly sexist portrayal of her as little more than a damsel in distress.

"You were only knocked down once and you were there only a few breaths before Barry." You were quick to add. They liked to embellish things. Lifting her head from where she was icing her bloody nose, she gave you a bright smile.

"You're the best boyfriend, you know that right?" Nodding, you gave her a sly look and a wink as you finished up your project.

"Yep, here," Lifting her hand up, you slid the ring on much to her amusement.

"If this is your way of proposing, I'm not very flattered and that's the wrong hand." Rolling your eyes, you pressed the side of the button and a thick metal glove surrounded her hand. At her startled gasp, you gave her a grin. "What is this? What does it do?"

"He's a metal man and the only way you're going to beat him is by punching him with a stronger metal."

"Why are you giving this to me and not Barry?"

"Because, you need a win and you are as capable at beating him as Barry is. Besides, it'd be a little weird if I gave Barry a ring." Winking at her as she blushed a bright red, you left her to finish icing her nose. Rounding the corner, you ran right into Barry and Harrison who both tried to act like they hadn't been listening in.

"Alright, let me have it. I should have given it to Barry. It's not safe for her, blah, blah, what?" You were startled to feel Harry pull you into an oddly intimate hug, sharing a startled look with Barry as you patted him on the back.

"As _fun_ as this is, why are you hugging me?"

"Because I love my daughter and although I hate the thought of her dating, I am glad it's with someone like you." As he walked away, you gawked at him. On a list of things you expected that man to say to you, that was not it. Barry clapped you on the shoulder, giving you a nod as he went around you and you wondered what Barry did to the timeline to make this a thing.

 _She got a bad reputation, nobody gets too close. A sight of a soul when it's breaking making my heart grow cold. And into the deeper she's sinking, I'm begging her please don't let go. She's got a bad reputation but she's all that… all I want, though._

"Give me your hand!" Jesse's voice echoed through the comm, her scream almost drowned out by the rushing wind around them. She and Barry were dealing with another weather metahuman that decided to attack random citizens of Central City. Throwing a guy off the roof with a gust of wind here, suspending a girl in the air there, smacking them together everywhere. It was a doozy but they had almost gotten all the people to safety expect this man.

"No! I'm not going with the Flash's sidekick. Everything you touch you screw up." They all heard the sharp breath Jesse sucked in, wondering if she'd reached the point when she was going to give up the heroics like she had threatened to do once she'd beaten the metal man and they still found a way to blame her.

"Listen up, okay? I am your only option. Either you grab my hand or you fall, your choice dude but I am not dealing with this sexist she's a woman crap, do you hear me?" Needless to say, the guy grabbed her hand but proceeded to lambast her for what she said in the media.

"I don't care anymore," She sighed, throwing the mask to the side and flopping into your lap. She wasn't big on PDA but she didn't seem to care that everyone was in the cortex as she curled into your arms, letting you hold her together. "Nothing I do is good enough so I am going to do my best and if they don't like it, then too bad. Because I'm a hero whether they like it or not."

Grinning at her, you pressed a kiss to her forehead and continued with your blueprints. She had said all that needed to be said. She was going to be her own kind of hero, the kind that saved people to save them not for the recognition.

 _Nobody knows the way that I, I know her. Said nobody knows the weight that's on her shoulders. Said nobody knows the way that I, I know her. Said she got a bad, she got a bad._

"Jesse, get out of there!" You yelled, watching as her vitals flickered dangerously and hearing her scream echo in your ears as she attempted to hold the building up until Barry had gotten everyone out.

"I can't! We have to get everyone." Barry's voice suddenly crackled through the comms as he told her the one thing she needed to hear.

"Run Jesse, run!" With a final push of all her strength, she tossed the building long enough to slid out from under and land on her back painfully tumbling 'til she landed in front of the people they'd gotten out with a loud groan.

"Jesse?" You questioned, seeing that her vitals were stabilizing despite her groaning.

"Did we get everyone? Do I need to go in? What's wrong?" The Flash was by her side in a heartbeat, his hand pushing her back to the ground as she tried to get up.

"No, you need to stay down. What were you thinking? You almost got yourself killed." Barry was not making her queasy stomach feel better with his head shaking like that. Blurring her face made his move slower and that helped.

"Did we get everyone?" She tried once more to get up but Barry was holding her down.

"Yes! You have to stop. Stop! If you get up your father and boyfriend are going to have my head, could you stop?" He begged, noticing that her eyes were roving the crowd to make sure everyone was alright.

"Jesse, you have to calm down babe. You have a crazy heartbeat." You noted, trying to calm the adrenaline filled girl.

"Only beats for you babe." Yeah, she was fine. "But do any of these people need medical attention? Did you check Barry? You usually check."

"Yes, I checked. Are you alright? You were going pretty fast." Nodding, she touched her hand to the back of her head only to pull away at the sticky substance. "Jesse!"

Barry was barely able to hold her up as she tipped sideways, passing out from pain and exhaustion. Hearing the startled gasps of onlookers, he easily lifted her into his arms and gave the crowd another once over to make sure he didn't need to get anyone else. Lightning was zapping behind his eyes and then he was off to make sure his speedy counterpart was safe.

 _And I don't care what they say about you baby. They don't know what you've been through. Trust me, I could be the one to treat you like a lady. Let me see what's underneath, all I need is you._

Twisting in your arms, she ignored the IV Caitlin begged her to stop ripping out and pressed closer to you as the lady started talking about 'the Flash's sidekick'. You pulled her closer, hoping that they would be a little nicer seeing as she was hurt. Plus, she was on pain meds and was about to cry as it was.

"And we bring you live to the site of the metahuman attack in downtown Central City." It switched to another young lady in a pencil skirt as the awkward delay stretched on before she was quick to speak.

"It was another heroic rescue here in Central City as the Flash pulled all these people out of the-"

"Excuse me?" It was a young girl with pigtails and a missing front tooth that grabbed the lady by the skirt for her attention. "You didn't say Jesse!"

Everyone in the cortex stiffened.

"Who?"

"Jesse, that's what the flash called her. It's his sidekick. But I think she was the real hero, or both of them were! Flash was speeding in and out of the building but she was back there running really, really fast to keep the building from falling. Then she was going so fast she could not stop and landed in the grass over there, but she was still asking if she needed to go in and save more people! It was so cool. Then she stood up to check on us but I think that her head was bleeding and she passed out on the Flash. But that's okay, mama says you have to rely on your family to keep you safe. She was really awesome! And a girl like me. I wanna be like her when I grow up!" The little girl skipped away, not even noticing what she had interrupted.

Everyone was silent as the flabbergasted woman tried to act like she wasn't going to insult Jesse by not mentioning her but the little girl had already said all that needed to be. Feeling yourself shake, you glanced down to make sure Jesse was okay. She wasn't. She was crying, staring at the screen with amazement before turning to you with a smile that counteracted her tears.

"Babe?" You questioned, huffing as she fully threw herself into your arms with a gasp of excitement.

"Did you see _that_? That little girl? She was so excited to have a female to look up to. Babe. Babe!" She hit his shoulder repeatedly as she ignored Caitlin's pleas and ripped out the IV, running to her father.

"Do not hit me." Harry tutted but hugged his daughter as she fell into his arms. She was practically vibrating. She was bursting with ecstatic energy at the little girl who had found her to be a hero.

"Wait, don't – _Jesse_!" You yelled as you recognized that half-step she did before she was about to run. Turning to the screen, you saw your girlfriend in full suit lift up the little pigtailed girl on her shoulder and offer to give her a ride. With a awed nod from her mother, Jesse was jetting off with the laughing little girl – careful not to go her full speed and scare her.

"She's something, isn't she?" Harry laughed. Although it was odd, you and he had found a commonality with your love for Jesse Quick.

" _Something_ doesn't even begin to cover it."

 _She got a bad reputation. She takes the long way home._


End file.
